Long Distance Taunting and an Abundance of Jelly

I knew this weekend was going to be fun.I could have bet money on it. I was going to make sure it happened. Heck it started on Thursday.

I get a message late Wednesday or early Thursday with Katie asking if I wanted to hit up Downtown Live in Greenville that night. What she really was asking was for help in picking up Captain Pretentious's Jag from the dealer, and if I was good I would be rewarded with some fun times in Greenville. The Jag dealer had found that the only way to fix burnt out circuits in the door was to replace basically the whole thing and charge C.P. far more than they needed to. Seeing how I doubt C.P. knows much about his car (as shown by the time where he took 45 minutes to find the battery to jump his boat) they could have told him that the windows were out of magic Jag dust and he would have happily paid the bill. Oh and now that he's back I can finally put up the pictures of the little surprise I made for him.

An inside joke between our group of friends. But it should definitely warrant an angry phone call vowing my imminent death. But its the little things that make me smile, especially taking a Jag to the dealer with that sticker on it.

So anyway we get it back to my place and Katie decides that she has far too much work to spend time downtown laughing her ass off with us. You see I had called Jeb and his girlfriend and invited them along to the Blue Ridge Brewery for some fairly good food and drinks. Jeb and I have the exact same sense of humor and practically spend the whole time when we hang out trying to get the other to spit their drink out through their nose. With his pint sized girlfriend along for the ride, nursing broken fingers in a cup of ice water, we discussed tons of hilarious topics, from the logistics of filling C.P.'s trunk with dildos to reason's why I should if at all possible get married out of the state of South Carolina. It was so humorous that the two Blue Ridge employees selling beer to the Downtown Live crowds were cracking up standing beside us. After we finished up there, Jeb and I went to the Irish pub down the street for "one more drink" with his rather attractive paralegal-lawn maintenance-bartender friend. We also started a trend that would carry over the entire weekend of sending vulgar text messages to C.P. at 4:30am Swedish time.

After getting out of work Friday I was tasked by Katie to go to this bar and get C.P. another pony keg for his amateur beer operation. So I head into Blue Ridge which is where I thought she said to go. After several minutes with the owner looking at me like I was crazy and insisting that he didn't sell his kegs empty, I headed out. Apparently Katie had told me another place to go which explained the confusion. I head down to Clemson and wait outside C.P.'s for Katie to get out of a meeting and pick up a magazine to read. I have to say that Details magazine is a horrible piece of garbage, which shows the filthy rich which accessories they need to show that they are better and apparently more homophobic than their peers. I swear that if I am thrust into extreme wealth I will never dress like the people in that magazine, where dressing in extremely tight, ugly clothing is the fad. But anyway back to Friday. Katie got back and while she was very hungry, refused to make a decision on where to eat. So I chose Super Taco, which she had amazingly never been to. Flash forward to going downtown later. Katie and I head downtown with a friend Susan. Susan has a problem that while she says that shes having a good time, she looks like we're taking her to a funeral. But she asked if she could come along, so we were happy to invite her along. Also Jeb has said that after he finishes packing for a camping trip he has planned for Saturday he'll join us downtown. Katie gets a hold of my cell phone and changes her name to "I Don't Even Like Jelly!" which she uses to fake call me several times during the night. We start the night at Nick's, a bar known for a good beer selection but non-existent liquor. They are actually playing Ace of Base, which warrants the first text of the evening to C.P. in Sweden. Katie and Susan are talking about who knows what and I'm relieved when Jeb finally shows up with his friend Kyle. We have a good time joking around and head across the street to Tiger Town Tavern. When we get there we decide to mess with Kyle and call him Steve for the rest of the evening. The first round of the name change goes less then well with him shooting it down fairly quickly. But I stick with it. We bounce to a couple more bars and finally call it a night, dropping Susan off and getting some Taco Bell on the way back to Hart's Cove. Good night with a good day planned for the next day.

To be continued.......