Jelly and Long Distance Pranking Continued

So I woke up in a strange bed, Saturday morning. Not with a beautiful woman mind you. Not with an ugly woman either. Just by myself in Keihner's bed. He is away for the summer so I decided that his bed beat the overpriced uncomfortable sofa that C.P. has in his living room. It's noon, I'm still wearing what I wore the night before and I'm sorta hungry so I get up at the crack of noon. I figured Katie will be up already but she emerges at about the same time I do and we go get some food, although i can't remember what it was. Katie doesn't make decisions but shes quick to shape my decisions into where she wants to go. We return and go to the lake. I love the lake, I would really go there everyday if I could. We decided to chill on the dock for a while, where I actually used some sunscreen this week. Katie took a while to lather up so I jumped in and started paddling around with one of our new $1.50 floaties. Katie finishes and jumps in, probably washing most of the last fifteen minutes off in a single second. We paddle around and chat like we always do, and she laughed at me several times for not being able to pull myself up on the dock. I don't know if I have bad form or really skinny arms, but I can't do it. It's a goal for the end of the summer. After a while we get out and like clockwork Jeb, his girl (who for some reason I can't remember if shes a Michelle or a Britney or something totally different) and Steve come on out and join us. They bring beer, which is always nice, and we celebrate their arrival by picking up Katie and throwing her back in the lake. Its a fairly effortless process and I have the presence of mind to take her sunglasses off her face as we're picking her up. We soon all join her in the lake, except for BritneyMichelleSomebody who is content in chilling on the dock.

After a while I decide that I am going to swim across the lake. I swim like a fish and the task doesn't seem as daunting as you'd think. But I bring the one floaty and an inflatable bed thing that we found with be. Half way across I realize that these two items are really causing me to swim slow and are more of a hindrance then a help. So I stop on the little island in the middle and lay them down and continue to the other shore. I get about half way there when I turn around and see that the inflatable mattress thing blew off the island in a gust of wind and is floating away. I think about going for the shore and just letting it go since its not really mine anyway, but quickly reconsider and catch up with it. I drag it to the other shore like a lifeguard and lay back on the surprisingly sandy beach for a little. I quickly grow bored and head back to the other side. I have the inflatable bed thing under me like wings and I'm making good headway just using my legs. I have to stop at the center island however to pick up the $1.50 floaty, going by the lake swimmers motto of never leaving a good float behind. For as sandy as the side beaches are, the center island is the absolute opposite and covered in rocks. I exit quickly and I'm just pushing off when I step on a jagged rock. It hurts like crazy but I keep going back to my friends at the dock. I get up there and see that I cut the bottom of my foot but it doesn't seem that serious. I grab a beer and chill with them. Katie decides to head back a little earlier, pointing to her boobs and saying "Look I'm peeling".

Out of nowhere, a group of 18 year old freshmen show up, all sporting 22oz cans of Miller Lite. How could this not be suspicious to the person they bought them from? I mean seriously, if you came up and looked like you were 18 and had a bunch of 22oz'ers in hand, I don't care if your ID says you're 45, you're definitely underage. We hang out for a while more with the kids and then decide to hit the liquor store before it closes. Jeb stocks up on some Jack Daniels and me and Steven wander around looking like a bunch of 12 year olds on a field trip. We pile back into the car, me cuddling up to a large box of candles in the backseat (now in Midsummer's Night) and grab some grilling stuff at the grocery store. We go back to C.P.'s and chill for a while. We pop in a movie and I help Katie start grilling on C.P.'s huge illegal grill. Steve joins us on the balcony and starts handling knives and I decide it would be a good time to head back inside before I get stabbed by this crazy guy for calling him Steve (which I haven't stopped doing all day). I feel bad for Katie who stands her post but figure shes a big girl and can take care of herself.

We eat, the movie finishes and everyone is looking like they're about to nod off at 9pm. I am semi enthusiastic to go back downtown since I figure the alternative involves me chilling on on a couch while everyone else falls asleep. Everyone tries to wuss out and I have to use the "you're old" card several times, but finally I get all of them to agree except for BritneyMichelleSomebody who decides to go home. To do so however I have to agree that if we go I will have to get some chick's number of walk home from downtown. This isn't the first time that they have pulled something like this on me trying to make me branch out and impress drunk chicks with my ability to buy them drinks and provide a means to write. By forcing me into the situation, chances are I talk to less women then if you would have just agreed to go. Katie and I get to Tiger Town Tavern and the place is deserted. There are seriously two women in the entire place and both of them are extremely unattractive. I think about getting a quick number off of one of them anyway just to get the group off my back but ultimately decide not to and start playing Katie in some pool. I suck terribly but almost win both times, blowing it at the end of the game. Jeb and Steve join us and we play a couple more team games where Katie and I lose terribly. I suggest we head across the street to Nick's, remembering several times when they were full when the other bars were empty. Sadly it wasn't much better. Just a couple tables of fairly unattractive women. I enjoy my beers while getting dogged by the other three that my time was running out to get the number. On the second beer, when the bartender comes Jeb and I hold up a five dollar bill on my chest to match the Abe Lincoln shirt shes wearing and she gets a good laugh out of it. Time is ticking by and the other three are getting more and more adamant that I need to get a number. I tell the bartender the story and half think she wanted me to ask for hers but felt it wouldn't be worth it with her being fairly unattractive also. Resigned to my fate of walking home with a hurt foot and a bad knee I continue downing beers until closing time rolls around. Steve is asking if I want to go to Overtime, and figure that it would probably be better then just walking home. This however gets Katie to break her threat and agree to give me a ride home. It usually happens this way (the alternative usually being that I walk up to a table full of girls and tell them that my friend is being a douche and if I could please buy one of them a drink so I could get back to relaxing, I would be appreciative), but I appreciate the ride (and fast food) and soon I'm passed out where I woke up in the morning.