Thank you xkcd, i chuckled profusely on this one.
Ok recent reports say that Brett Farve has said that if the Packers want him back, it would "be tempting". Raise your hand if you thought this whole tearful retirement would last. The coach should have come up to him in the middle of it and told him to cut the crap and show up early to training camp. Here will be the progression of the Brett Farve retirement:
Month One: Happy to be doing nothing but hunting and fishing.
Month Two: Get quoted saying a return would be tempting
Month Three: Get quoted saying he would like to come to training camp to help out the younger players
Month Four: Get caught "just throwing around" in Lambo
Month Five: Get quoted saying he would like to return in a minor role next season
Month Six: Be the first player to ever sign the "Until they kill me on the field" contract
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Today I listened to Stairway to Heaven on the way to the gym and Whisky Bar by the Doors on the way home. I felt that accurately summed up my thoughts about working out. I really need to get a regular sex partner, copious amounts of sex beats running any day for working off the lbs.
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Got the check back from the Clemson Police department saying that I didn't pay the right amount instead of putting the three dollars change in the envelope and telling me "thanks for your business, we appreciate that you drive like a dumbass on campus"
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There's a guy in my development who's real first name is Clemson. I don't know who he is but I'm betting he drives the flashiest Camero in here and is probably the biggest douche in the world from years of being picked on, if I were him I would have to go to USC just to mess with my parents.
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NPR, get some damn sponsors, your weeks of pledge drives with rewards of lame gifts are really irritating, much more so than a few commercial breaks. Also to the people that have $1000 to donate to a public radio station, you deserve to be robbed.
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And finally, people always talk about the girl of their dreams, I actually have a girl of my dreams, I couldn't describe her to you, but I had another dream with her in it last night. The funny thing is we never do anything romantic in the dreams and yet it seems absolutely perfect. I think she may be blond with freckles but I don't know. Sappy I know, but figured I'd throw it in there and see if anyone else has recurring dream characters.
Comment away kids
2 comments:
So many things to say...
*raises hand* I guess I was too gullible. The tears looked real!
Awesome contract name.
Until you find that regular sex partner, I recommend a lower impact cardio plan if running isn't your thing. Swimming is quite a workout. And you get to stay cool :)
You ranting on NPR makes me smile way too much. :D
Your dreams are awesome. I want dreams like that. Even if they're about a girl, I'm cool with that. ;)
p.s. xkcd <3
i used to swim a lot but i dont really have access to an indoor pool at the moment, and the outdoor pool is probably a little bit cold yet, so the enthusiastic sex partner seems like the ideal choice
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