About Puppies and Bunnies or Stuff

First off this is my new bed, picked it up last week and got nice white sheets for it, definitely going for the "sleeping on a cloud look. Heard light colors were good fung swei today also, didn't try that but good for me. Hopefully it will fung swei some ladies into it. Still need to get some more art for the wall tho.

The only downside of the new bed, if you look in the corner of the picture you can see the corner of my desk. My desk is frickin huge. Its a beat up old army desk with this cool pop out shelf thing on the side, but between it and my new bed, I have literally a foot and a half of space between the two in which to put my chair for my desk. Which means if I want to get to my closet I either have to climb over my bed or my chair to get there. Not really anything I can do about it though, I can't think of another way to arrange my room.

So this weekend was a super phun thyme again. I was a little worried since I was sick going into it that I would feel terrible the whole time and not enjoy myself, but it was super sweet. I went to Clemson this weekend to hang out with Captain Pretentious. As soon as I got there we went out on the boat. It was definitely nice to get out on the water again. C.P. has all of a sudden decided that he will abandon his over cautious boat driving for a different method where he puts the hammer down and then stands on the chair, making corrections to steering only when he needs to. Mr. and Mrs. H joined us after an hour and we hung out on the lake drinking some Pabst Blue Ribbon (which has to be the best since it got the blue ribbon) and relaxing until it got dark and we headed back where C.P. parked his boat in the slip that he hasn't paid for since he got the boat and probably owes about a grand on back fees on. But its nice and close to his apartment, so it works out. We all went up to his place and got ready to go downtown.

We hit Peppinos first to get some pizza with our first round of dt beers. Peppinos however was about 900 degrees. I was dying the whole time we were there and mentally urging the slow eaters to finish up so we could get out of there. Jeb and his girlfriend joined us, everyone made fun of me sweating and we bounced to the next bar. Now Jeb and I have exactly the same sense of humor so we were basically feeding off each other the entire night and both cracking up like crazy. By the end of the third bar, Nick's we were both fairly intoxicated and everything seemed to be hilarious. I no longer cared about picking up chicks and mostly was just having a blast joking around. By the fourth bar we had focused our attention on making fun of Captain Pretentious, and I got Jeb to spit out his drink twice by referring to C.P. as a small part of a woman's anatomy, complete with sign language for when he was on his phone. He actually made the mistake at one point in telling us that his first album he bought was Ace of Base, which as a guy you can never say out loud even if its true. But he was a good sport and after several more drinks (with me buying one for a rather attractive girl sitting at our table who looked bored out of her mind, but I didn't talk to her or get a number or anything, whatever it seemed nice) we headed home.

The next day I was planning on heading out to do my slacking by myself since I figured C.P. needed to study. But as I was about to go he suggested we go get some food. So we went to the Tiki Hut and had overpriced sandwiches served to us by a waitress with some badass gold shoes, where he talked me into staying and going out on the boat again instead of going home. He claimed that he could print out his notes and study on the boat while we hung out and relaxed. So he prints them out and we go out on the boat. We drive it about two hundred yards off the dock and are about to anchor it when Pete, C.P.'s roommate realizes that he forgot the cooler on the dock. I figure, I wanted to go for a swim anyway, I'll swim back and get it. As I was about to jump off C.P. is telling me to go so he can throw the anchor in, which I knew he was up to something since it didn't make any sense, but I figured he would drive away when I jumped off and it didn't bother me much because I would be waiting back on the dock with a full cooler and hot chicks. So I start swimming back (almost losing the suit in the dive, since I had borrowed it from C.P. and it didn't have the tie anymore at the top) and the swim is a lot longer then I thought but I made it. But half way back I see the boat driving right back toward the dock. So by the time I got there, all I needed to do was hop on and we headed back out again. The rest of the day was spent drinking ice tea and beer and reading a magazine while C.P. studied. A nice relaxing fun weekend that I hope to repeat several times this summer.

Political Thoughts at 12:30 in the Morning

After taking a nap when I got home I'm wide awake and thought I'd write. With the big Pennsylvania primary today which for the first time ever "actually means something"(even though it really doesn't, except for the fact that Obama couldn't put Hilary away so we now have to still hear from her for another couple months) I felt that I would talk about my views. I like how whenever you hear a Obama ad you hear the youthful voice of one of his supporters going "Barack opposed the war from the beginning". That's easy to say 5 years and 2000 or so deaths later that you weren't in favor of something. Thank you Junior Senator that five years ago when you were getting the the real Senator a cup of coffee you voiced your opinion that you didn't really think it was a good idea. If we would have rolled up in Iraq and put this thing away in six months I really doubt he would be going "see i told you". But the problem with the US military today is that we've lost the guts to just be bastards in a place, wreck shit, bring all their leaders up on the same war crimes we were doing, and then ten years later say "That was our bad, here's some cash to rebuild". We haven't had this mentality since World War 2, where we would napalm entire city blocks in Japan. But suddenly something changed when we got to Vietnam where we forgot that the last time we fought an Asian nation we had to blow two of their cities off the map to get them to stop. Instead we're walking through the jungles in lines. We turned into the British during the Revolutionary War. Oh yeah lets go marching in nice little slow moving lines while the enemy uses gorilla tactics to totally decimate our forces. How long do you think we would have been in Vietnam if we started it out by dropping a bomb on their major city. We would have mopped that up in a month and a half and the world would have known that the US does not mess around. War is about doing horrible things, its just the way it is, until people remember this we will not find success in any military action. We prosecute our own Generals and soldiers for doing their job and we wonder why we're not seeing the results that we hoped for. Bringing up our intelligence people for torture? Do you think the people that we need information from are going to sit down with a cup of coffee and say, "ya know, if you go down the street and take a left, the guy you're looking for is right there", of course not, let them do their job, heck don't tell us about it, the average American is dumb as a brick, especially if you say "We tortured these guys to get information" without the part that because they did these thousand people were saved. And how haven't we found Osama Bin Laden. He releases video tapes people. UPS can track where my packages are at any point and time and you're telling me we can't send a couple CIA guys over there and ask people where they got the video tape?

So now the democrats are starting their campaign with how they will end the war in Iraq immediately and send everyone home. I mean I want them to finish up and come home as much as anyone, but only John McCane is actually realistic about it. This is why he sadly will probably never win. He actually is realistic. As democrats, lets promise national health care without any plans to pay for it, lets promise that we'll end the war in Iraq immediately with the only exit strategy being that we just pull them out and send them home, and somehow the economy will be all better if we start making everyone buy marked up American made products. Heck I've even seen ads where Hilary has a goal to bring back the middle class. A woman that has never been middle class her entire life says she'll bring it back and charge more taxes to the wealthy. Didn't she make multi-millions last year? There's going to be no rich congressman who's going to say, "Well I'd really like some more taxes, especially if it gives the poor more money to keep having kids they can't afford to have" And there's actually a law trying to be passed that levels the playing field for candidates for political office, where if a candidate has a ton of money, we have to make it fair for everyone else running and limit the money that they invest. Who's going to actually pass this law? Is there a secret 51% of Congress that are poor and somehow scraped up enough cash to run for their seat?

Sorry for babbling on, but America needs to get realistic, and it really bothers me to hear day after day about the stupid things that people are getting away with saying these days.

Dating

After a friend on facebook voiced her concern that she didnt know the definition of dating I figured it would make a good blog post for me to explain my view on the subject in the only way I can: with lots of crude sarcastic puns.

So here are the levels of relationships and what they mean to a guy:

Seeing: We hang out a lot but she still pays for her share of stuff and there's no romantic things going on

Dating: I feel good enough about the level of romantic things we're doing that I don't have a problem footing the bill for the activities that we do. However theres something about you that still makes me unsure about signing up for the "You only" club.

Relationship: I'm good with you exclusively, unless I'm calling this an open relationship in which I like having sex with you but I have someone on the side and calling this a relationship cuts down on the amount I have to spend taking you out on dates.

Friends with Benefits: I don't mind having the sex but its probably not worth me taking you out to fancy dinners when it cuts into our sex time.

One Night Stand: Chances are I don't remember your name, but unless you gave off a super weird vibe I'd probably be interested if you called in turning this into at least Friends with Benefits, whatever your name is.

Hope that was helpful
This was a Mike Robertson public service announcement

Cola Cola Cola Chemeleon

After a comment free hot chick article, which had the added bonus of me getting to see Natalie Portman whenever I opened my blog to check on the lack of comments, I figured I'd talk about last weekends trip to Columbia. This sequel stars myself, one of my best friends who I will call DP, and two of his roommate's friends who joined us for the trip, TJ and Jerry. Also starring are Jennifer and the king of the Saucer Paul.

OK so I get there on Friday afternoon at about 6:30 to find DP washing his overly expensive car. Without a woman in his life, DP's woman has become this car. He loves this car more then he loves anyone who rides in it, walks near it, touches it or any other variation. If you're thinking about it right now, he probably would like you to stop because it might cause water droplets on the paint. So when he washes his car, its really something incredibly amusing to watch. So I'm standing there drinking one of the beers I brought along, shootin the shit with him while he washes his baby with various sizes of the car wash mitten. He's finally satisfied after accidentally shooting both me and himself with the hose. I go in and shower while he runs three miles. DP has an incredible workout habit despite drinking his weight in Lager each week at various pint night, mystery pint night, and trivia night drinking specials. He gets back and showers and we head out to THE SAUCER. The start of every night barhopping in Columbia starts with the Saucer. They have over 200 beers and part of DP's new found alcoholism has him racing through them three at a time to get the next color of backing on his plate hanging on the wall. As usual we crash with Paul who has drank enough in there that he has authority to influence hiring and firings. This is a huge plus since besides being a nice guy, we usually get a table and an overattentive "Beer Goddess" to help us out with our every need. I'm excited that ours just happens to be the hottest woman I've ever seen and stutter through ordering pretty much whatever she recommends. I'm easy like that. Eventually TJ and Jennifer show up and join the three of us in cramming into the booth. After a couple hours of messing with phones, eating, drinking, taking blood sugar readings and various other tomfoolery and shenanigans we decide to head to 5 points.

5 points is the other side of Columbia where the bars are slightly cheaper and all of them are packed full of fairly awful USC people. Girls that are wasted and flailing around in their unapproachable circle of impenetrability, most of which chain smoking as well. And Guys that are mostly very frattastic and waiting for the drunken circles to break slightly so they can refill the alcohol reserves for an easy score later. We go to several bars, most of which are stuffed full to the point that it takes you a good fifteen minutes to get a drink at the bar. I hate crowded bars more then anything. I would rather a bar have no one in it and allow me to talk to my friends and drink to my little heart's content. A shining bonus of getting to talk to Jennifer, who is an unbelievably chill and fun chick, keeps me rolling along. By the end of the night we've hit at least a half dozen bars (including one that had really good cheap pizza and buzztime trivia) and I'm smiling like there's no tomorrow. Fun night, no worries, we go home and play the majority of a game of beer pong and I get to pass out on DP's roommate's bed since he isn't there.

The next day, after several unsuccessful attempts to get up, I finally make it out at 12:30ish still feeling surprisingly drunk despite the 9 hours of sleep that I got. Fast forward through a day of eating and playing video games to another trip to the Saucer. DP needs his three beers of the day, informing me that he's only $400+ dollars away from his next color of decorative flatware. Jerry joins us this time, trading out for Jennifer(not exactly a good trade) and informs us that he's already had more alcohol during the day then I planned to have in the course of a weekend. We leave Saucer and head to this "party" at a bar that I've been told is on the shady side of Columbia. So shady in fact that no one thinks its a good idea to leave their car there. It does however have a RFID gadget on the door to only allow members to enter (until they enter and prop the door open) because they felt that making it a member's bar would cut down on the fighting. This place is unlike any place I've been to. Side by side in this establishment are college students(probably underage) and some of the shadiest characters in Columbia. After an hour we decide to slip out and go back to 5 points. We bounce from bar to bar, all of them fairly unimpressive. For some reason I'm not feeling drunk but an increasing ache throughout my entire body which is fairly unpleasant. After closing time we head back to the shady bar which I'm told really picks up after closing because of everyone wanting to continue their drinking in the only place left open. I'm about to buy the four of us some beers when I notice that the other three guys are not in the bar at all anymore. I leave the bar to find them surrounding Jerry who is very sick and painting the wall of the bar a slightly better color. He finishes up and we go into the bar where he looks worse and worse and I suggest we leave. DP gives Jerry a plastic bag so big that he could have probably fit his entire body in it and off we go back to his place, the entire time DP is saying variations of "If you're going to puke, puke in the bag" and "If you puke in my car I'm going to force you to buy me an entire new car" We're about five minutes from his place when all of a sudden Jerry sticks his entire head into the bag and starts throwing up. While hes throwing up TJ is trying to explain to him that he doesn't have to have his whole head in the bag, and Bryan is still yelling away about not letting a drop of throw up out of that bag and into his precious baby. I can't help but smile at the spectacle. We get home and Jerry does a combination of throwing up and passing out while I decide to crash on the couch and watch a movie instead of going back out to the shady bar with the other two.

I awoke the next day to a crescendo for bathroom vomiting and headed home from yet another crazy adventure to Columbia.

Top 5: Hottest Actresses

After questions over the weekend about my favorite things, I figured I could do a post on some of them. So without further ado, here are my top five hottest actresses:

1) Natalie Portman: Unbelievably sexy and also very intelligent (Harvard grad, knows about 6 languages) Natalie Portman could be the perfect woman. Aside from her being an avid vegan (unamerican), I would sell my soul to be with this chick. If you're a fan also, I recommend checking out a very clothing free Natalie in the Darjeeling Limited. So if anyone knows her, you know where to send her.




2) Angelina Jolie: Perfect body, wild personality and all those sexy tattoos. Aside from her recent goal to adopt a child from every third world nation she is unbelievably sexy and I can't wait to see her next movie where she plays a sexy hitman...or hitwoman. I really doubt I could steal her away from Brad Pitt but if she showed up at my door for a weekend of wild sex, I could die a happy man.



3) Jodie Foster: Another smart sexy woman who without a doubt is a perfect woman. She may be a little older but I would still love to share a panic room with her.










4) Rachel Leigh Cooke: Underrated actress who's smart and spunky and I would love to see her in more films. She has this cute littleness to her that I find super appealing. I'm trying to think of a Josie and the Pussycats innuendo but nothing is coming to me.










5) Shannyn Sossamon: There's something very exotic and appealing about her that I can't get enough of her. See also looks slightly like a young Angelina Jolie. There is also this thing she does with biting her lip that is incredibly sexy. What I would do for 40 days and 40 nights with this chick.








Honorable Mentions: Always could use some more Mandy Moore and Giada Delaurentis could broil me with a nice Alfredo sauce


I know its not the usual Hollywood top five but that's who I like, and now that I've exhausted my supply of puns for today, let me know what else you want my opinion on and I'd be happy to let you know.

Morning Glory

When my alarm goes off at 6:30 in the morning I go through about the same thought process everyday, instead of an inner monologue, it turns into an inner dialogue between a part of myself that wants to go to work and a part of myself that doesn't. The funny thing is that while my "evil" part does most of the talking, my good part controls my body without the consent of my brain. Every morning I think to myself that I could sleep some more, then I remind myself that I already moved the wake-up time as late as I possibly can to still make it to work on time with a shower. Then I think that I might not need a shower. Then I scope out the Wolverine hairstyle that I'm sporting and reconsider. Then I think to myself that I haven't taken a day off yet, they wouldn't mind if I took today off. Then I think that it would be more trouble faking an illness and then having to answer a list of medical questions from my coworkers the next day. By this time I have somehow collected a set of clothes from my closet, checked my computer for messages that may have been left overnight (there barely ever is any), and gotten into the shower. At which point the thoughts of skipping work slowly dissolve into the warm water, not hot mind you, since I crank it to the H and its still not super hot. So everyday I think about taking a day off, but everyday I never do. Could be saying something about my character or how much I like my job. I also often think that weekend plans are a poor idea in the morning, believing that if I blew them off I could make up for not getting to be in bed during the week. This changes back as the day goes on until I forget about sleeping again. Its a repeating cycle that doesn't change if I go to bed at 8 or 12, a revolving cycle of morning hate.

My Hair

For the majority of my life I've had really short hair. Out of laziness mostly. I don't even own a hairdryer or for that matter a comb or a brush or anything. Usually I jump out of the shower (OK ladies start your mental picturing) and dry off and run my hand through my hair three times and I'm done. Easy as hell. But lately I've let it grow longer. Also out of laziness mostly, and the fact that the last two times i got it cut the woman doesn't listen at all when I tell her what I want and when I say "No that's not good" so when I'm walking out the door I wonder why I paid for a haircut I could have given myself with a pair of fisher price safety scissors. So anyway its much longer then usual now. Not to say that if you saw me you would say, damn Michael you're a frickin hippie, but its long for me. So now instead of the "run my fingers through it and go" I end up looking like a mix between Elvis, a mohawk and an electrocution patient. And most of the time I leave it because I don't really care. Sometimes though I strike gold. The other day, I rush on through my morning routine and head to work. A couple hours into work I catch my reflection in a mirror and somehow I look like I should be captaining a yacht with my lovely wife Bunny, everything parted perfectly to the side. Captain Pretentious would be proud. But by the end of the day I've gotten stressed out about one thing or another and run my hands through my hair so by the time i get home I look like I've been rolling around my padded cell a little too briskly at the funny farm. But I still want to see what happens if I really let it go.


But chances are I'll get tired of it and cut it all off in a week.



OK this post is sorta lame but hopefully y'all will get some laughs out of it

Clint Eastwood and Teddy Ruxpin

Over the weekend I bought The Good The Bad and The Ugly. If you are a guy (or a kickass girl) you should definitely own this movie. Watching it I was thinking to myself who could play the roles if the movie was redone in Hollywood today. For the Ugly, I kept seeing Bruce Campbell, the actor who plays this character in the movie looks a lot like him. As for the Bad, Angel Eyes, it could really be almost anyone known for playing a villain and it wouldn't effect the movie, maybe Gary Oldman. Then I got to Clint Eastwood's character The Man With No Name and thats when it struck me, there's no Clint Eastwood's anymore. Sure Clint is still kickin ass playing the raspy old guy in several award winning movies, but there are no young Clint Eastwood characters anymore. None that could capture the character like he did. He was the perfect western character. The half smile with the cigar tucked in the side that gave off a hint of emotion but still kept the tough cool that resonated through the character. Sure the latest movies like 3:10 to Yuma were alright, but they pail in comparison to any Eastwood western.

Also I caught the Return of the Jedi on Spike. It's been a long time since I've seen Return of the Jedi but even so I swear they changed the hell out of that movie. I caught myself thinking "where the hell did this come from? I remember this totally different" Especially the death of the emperor and Vator. In my head I remember that taking place on the planet, I don't remember Luke taking Vartor's hand off and I really don't remember the very end where they were celebrating with Teddy Ruxpin on Endor. It was cool how they inserted the younger Annakin from the first three movies in at the end standing next to Yoda and Obi Wan but I really couldn't remember a lot of the movie being the way it was. Still loved it, still a great movie, but I guess my memory is failing me on Star Wars details.

Sunday Afternoons with Mikie

Other people may have their own opinions but the best part of being in the real world to me is Sunday afternoons. Back in college, Sunday afternoons were packed with getting assignments done that I had put off all weekend for their Monday morning due dates. The real world says "To hell with that bullshit", as I relax on the couch (fourth time since I bought it months ago that I've sat on it) reading a magazine and listening to music on the iPod. Hell the only responsibilities that I have for today is watering the plants and maybe cleaning something if I don't take a nap instead. The added bonus of living by myself allows me to dance around my apartment with ear buds secured firmly in my ears and contemplation of whether I could climb on top of my hallway ceiling with the little nook left by the vaulted ceilings of my living room. I resist the urge (for now) believing that the only way to do so would involve scaling my kitchen cabinets or the pointless shelves next to the fireplace that are too deep for books but too narrow to fit my TV in (OK it could probably fit but the off center-ness of it would set off OCD sensors all over and reduce me to a shell of myself, lying in the fetal position on my living room floor). Anyway getting back to what I was saying, Sunday afternoons are fantastic in the real world. So just remember when you silly grad students are toiling away writing papers and reading over 200 pages, I'll be watching the collapse of the four "semi" pros that are in Tiger's path to another major championship and probably having another bowl of Coco Pebbles.

Random Rumblings

Thank you xkcd, i chuckled profusely on this one.

Ok recent reports say that Brett Farve has said that if the Packers want him back, it would "be tempting". Raise your hand if you thought this whole tearful retirement would last. The coach should have come up to him in the middle of it and told him to cut the crap and show up early to training camp. Here will be the progression of the Brett Farve retirement:

Month One: Happy to be doing nothing but hunting and fishing.

Month Two: Get quoted saying a return would be tempting

Month Three: Get quoted saying he would like to come to training camp to help out the younger players

Month Four: Get caught "just throwing around" in Lambo

Month Five: Get quoted saying he would like to return in a minor role next season

Month Six: Be the first player to ever sign the "Until they kill me on the field" contract

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Today I listened to Stairway to Heaven on the way to the gym and Whisky Bar by the Doors on the way home. I felt that accurately summed up my thoughts about working out. I really need to get a regular sex partner, copious amounts of sex beats running any day for working off the lbs.

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Got the check back from the Clemson Police department saying that I didn't pay the right amount instead of putting the three dollars change in the envelope and telling me "thanks for your business, we appreciate that you drive like a dumbass on campus"

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There's a guy in my development who's real first name is Clemson. I don't know who he is but I'm betting he drives the flashiest Camero in here and is probably the biggest douche in the world from years of being picked on, if I were him I would have to go to USC just to mess with my parents.

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NPR, get some damn sponsors, your weeks of pledge drives with rewards of lame gifts are really irritating, much more so than a few commercial breaks. Also to the people that have $1000 to donate to a public radio station, you deserve to be robbed.

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And finally, people always talk about the girl of their dreams, I actually have a girl of my dreams, I couldn't describe her to you, but I had another dream with her in it last night. The funny thing is we never do anything romantic in the dreams and yet it seems absolutely perfect. I think she may be blond with freckles but I don't know. Sappy I know, but figured I'd throw it in there and see if anyone else has recurring dream characters.

Comment away kids

In Which Michael Almost Smacks the Crap Out of an Alltel Salesman

I really don't like stupid people. Stupid people who try to make me feel stupid when I'm correct make me even angrier.

So I went into Alltel today to get a new cell phone. Mine runs out on Thursday and I had talked to the sales people from Alltel, AT&T and Verizon on Friday and from what I was told by the salesman at Alltel on Friday, he said I could get this monthly plan for $39.99 a month with 500 minutes and unlimited texting. The same plan at the other two places cost $20.00 a month more, so I was all but ready to sign up for Alltel especially if I could get the phone price that it shows online. So here's my conversation with the salesman in the store, semi-paraphrased:

Me: I'm here to get a phone, I like this one and online it goes for $79.99. I just wondered because I couldn't find the plan that we talked about on Friday with the unlimited texting.

Salesman: Plan with unlimited texting?

Me: Yeah do you have a brochure, I'll show you.
(Open Brochure, read closer, no texting listed at all, guy on Friday was talking out of his ass)

Me: So what would it cost with unlimited texting

Salesman:(does a lot of rounded calculations on a calculator) around $64 a month.

Salesman: are you sure that you found that phone for $79.99 online? that's much less then what we are charging(yes he actually said this)

Me: Yeah pull up your website
(Salesman takes five minutes to pull up the site on his crappy Blackberry device that he had tried to sell me on earlier, with the $90 a month fee for apparently shitty Internet. He verifies what I had told him)

Salesman: Well here it says its $179.00 with a $100 mail in rebate

Me: Well if I buy in the store its $129.00 with no rebate correct?

Salesman: Yeah.........

Me: So its still $50 cheaper

Salesman: Yeah........but I know you have to pay shipping
(We check, you don't)

Me: (Remembering) You're probably going to want to charge an activation fee too right?

Salesman: Yeah..........
(AT&T told me they would drop theirs, but I'm ready to go as long as.........)

Me: So can we do the online thing here? or can you give me the phone for that price?

Salesman: No you would have to do that online at home to get that price (he goes on to say something about them being a retail location compared to an authorized dealer or some bullshit that basically means that giving me the online price would be too much work for him)

Me: So is there any retail locations around here for me to talk to?

Salesman: Well yeah..........but they might not have the same prices.
(Yeah they might actually sell me the phone for what the Alltel company says to sell it for instead of marking it up)

Me: Well I'm not going to pay you $50 extra for the same phone, but thanks for the help.

I walk out, swearing under my breath, wishing I could throw a couple of their overpriced phones in my wake, especially the nice pretty iPhone knockoff that I could probably get to shatter. So now I am fairly torn about who to go with because now they all cost about the same per month and if I go online I can get the phones for all about the same price.

So which is it going to be: MOTOROKRTM Z6m vs. LG Chocolate™ vs. W580i Walkman®
Your vote could help me decide.

The Feminine Mood Swings of South Carolina Spring Weather

After a weekend of downpours that had us stranded in bars trying to stay dry and intoxicated, it appears to be another fantastic Sunday afternoon in the south. I went out to my mini-greenhouse thing that I bought (could be nerdy and unmanly but I have a vision of making a garden on my balcony) and the seeds that I planted have started to come up. No change yet on the avacado pit though. In case you don't know, you start an avacado pit growing by putting a toothpick in the four sides so you can balance it on top of a glass of water so that half of it is in the water and half is not. Supposedly in a couple weeks its supposed to split and sprout and then you plant it in dirt. When I heard this I figured it was worth a try. I also wanted to try out my new camera so this post should have a little bit for everyone, even the people that don't want to read what I write.

Anyway this weekend was fun as we hit several bars while I tried unsuccessfully to keep my friend from passing out on another bathroom floor. However for some reason I didn't have two nights of full on bar hopping in me and called it a night early last night. This allowed for a hangover free drive home today and also the chance to watch the comedic masterpiece which is Blade 3. I'm sure that they didn't intend for it to be the laugh riot that it is, but with the beyond terrible script (made even funnier by the network cable editing) and the over seriousness of all characters involved, it turns out to be a hilarious car wreck that you can't look away from.

On Friday when we were at the bar, my friend had told me to keep him from smoking while we were there. Of course this was a lot harder with our server being this cock tease of a girl that he had recently been "dumped" by. So the one time when he was about to smoke this cigerette that she had left on the table for him, I tried to grab them out of his hand. What insued was me accidentally ripping both cigerettes in half and punching him in the eye. Now with his level of intoxication, I honestly expected to have my friend start a knock down drag out fight with me in the middle of the bar but the crisis was somehow averted. Made for a good funny story to tell later. He also tried to pick up this table of three women. I was sort of oblivious to the whole thing because they appeared to be at least two levels hotter than we could possibly pull off and I am honestly terrible with picking up women, especially at bars. Most of the time I wouldn't mind if one or two women took a liking to me while I'm hanging out with my friends, but I really dont care most of the time enough to make much of an effort. But he tapped me on the shoulder and had me turn around and join them, where I soon learned that he had accidentally spilled one of the girl's martini's on them while buying them a shot. I believe I cracked some smart alleck joke about this and caught the vibe that they were probably about two levels dumber then needed to pick up on sarcasm. So I turned back around, told my friend it seemed like a lost cause and went back to watching basketball. By the end of the night we were sufficiently sloshed and had managed to tick of before mentioned cock-tease so we called it a night and headed home, where he managed to fall asleep sitting on the couch with his phone in his hand, waiting for a response to his drunk texting.

Fun Times.

Reasons That USC is Stupid and Other Thoughts

Reason That USC is stupid: USC String Project. Its bad enough to call yourself a project, but then to have the singular "string" in the title and you sound like a group of retards. Of course I may be bitter because I had to change forty different signs today to reflect this. It still sounds stupid to me.

Also what is the deal with the 3:00AM political commercials? Did something leak out that Obama was a sound sleeper and would have a hard time answering a phone in the early morning hours? Also this whole Hilary "Obama won't win" thing shows how pathetic she is. Apparently shes not seeing the poles where over half of people in her own party think shes lame. It's funny, as the two person democratic race continues, I lose more and more respect for both of them. By voting time I will probably be back to voting Republican again. Hopefully I will get off my ass and change my voter registration to down here before that happens, absentee ballots feel like such a waste.

Moe's disappointed me today with their meat choices. I look in the little tubs and the chicken looks all burnt, the ground beef looked charred and like it had been sitting there for days and the steak looked semi normal, which made the decision easier but still made the food seem slightly less appetizing.

Yesterday I was sent out on the road crew with the installers. The installers in my opinion have the hardest job in the company. If they screw up the client bitches and then the boss will be pissed off and really a lot of it is one shot and done. Except when it came to the monument sign face yesterday that was supposed to be 84" across to fit in the space between the brick columns and it ended up being 85" across which was at least a quarter of an inch larger than the space provided. This caused us to have to beat on the brick column for three hours in the hot sun to get this sign face to fit. Tough work. Nothing but respect for the installers. It made me see a funny trend though with the business. Everyone has a problem with the group that comes before them. Designers have a problem with sales for not giving them enough information or bad pictures to make accurate drawings. Production have a problem with designers because their drawings don't have enough information to build the product. Installers have a problem with production because they don't build things the way that would make for good installation. And then the boss has a problem with production because he always wants the signs up faster then is possible with unforeseen delays. Its like a revolving pyramid of blame. Its hard to get too stressed out about it though, as a designer I'm only a small cog in the possibilities of things that can go wrong, all I can do is do my best.

Happy April Fools Day!!!

Here's an interesting link to the origins of April Fools Day.

Enjoy.

Seriously I've blanked on what to write so hopefully I will come up with something soon.