Now Featuring: CAPTAIN PRETENTIOUS

In our second America's Sweetheart interview I talked to your favorite character and mine, Captain Pretentious. The Captain put in the request last weekend to be the next to be interviewed and who's to say no to him. So last night I asked him a few questions which he answered pretentiously, using his iPhone.

MR: How often do you check the blog?

CP: Twice a day. But its usually boring Tuesday through Sunday.

MR: Do you feel you are portrayed accurately?

CP: No, I'm quite a lovable, non-pretentious chap in reality.

MR: Do I really portray you as non-lovable?

CP: I'm CP! Always late, beat you up, compare iWang sizes, doesn't sound very lovable!

MR: You are also linked to the hot female lead, i think that makes you loveable.

CP: Just because she's got nice cans doesn't make me lovable, just lucky.

MR: haha I'm quoting that word for word.

CP: Her tracts of land are well known throughout these parts my friend.

MR: hahaha

MR: Whats your favorite post?

CP: One of the first few.

MR: Have they been getting worse?

CP: I like the old school ones better.

MR: Whats different about the new ones?

CP: Too much of the same: starting at Jebs and going to Nicks... Though the commentary is always quite good.

MR:Hmm we might have to mix it up.

MR: How many Swedish supermodels work at Sandvik?

CP: Actually, quite a few in Sverige, which is why you should come visit.

MR: Always good for morale to have eye candy at work.

MR: Do you ever wear things that you know you'll be picked on for looking overly pretentious?

CP: I dress for Mike Robertson from time to time, as does the Katie.

MR: Haha, like when?

CP: Usually if it involves pink or a sweater.

MR: What's your favorite and least favorite foods that Katie cooks for you?

CP: Favorite ribs

(Conversation briefly interrupted by Katie typing "Ask him what his screen name stands for, I already know it has something to do with Abercrombie and how when he was a freshman all of his clothes were from there, so we continue.)

CP: Least favorite: She recently learned how to make really good mac & cheese... Previously it was not so good as it is now.

MR: Do you often think to yourself, "I wish I was more like America's Sweetheart"?

CP: No I like getting laid.

MR: Ohhhhhh snap.

CP: Ooooooooo

MR: What are things that you do that bug the crap out of Katie? You can ask her if you want.

CP: I don't do as many chores as I should. She says "Still breathe."

MR: Haha It bugs her that you're still breathing?

CP: She's a smart ass.

MR: Good for her.

MR: Deep down are you really part ginger?

CP: Yes, I'm afflicted with red beard like the other Benjamin brothers.

MR: and stage 4 C.P., I've seen the ginger anger.

CP: And apparently I somehow anger minorities.

MR: Night elf mohawk.

MR: Whats your next ridiculous purchase? You've got the gun and the snow cone machine, what's next?

CP: I'm saving for something right now, so no silly purchases for a while sadly.

MR: OK last question, what is a surprising fact about C.P. that would shock even me?

CP: I've never dated a blond....ever.

MR: Well I think I can make a post out of this, do you have any closing remarks?

CP: Even though I may be CP in the mind of Mike Robertson, I'm just a normal guy who is really good looking and only likes nice things in reality.

MR: hahahahaha perfect.