Robertson's Reviews

This could turn into a fairly regular posting, as I watch a ton of movies and TV. Let me know your opinions on what I review and I might give them another try. Also I review them as a guy, for entertainment purposes, so don't be yelling that I'm giving action movies decent scores. But here goes this week's reviews:

Movies

The Bank Job: Jason Stratham(The Transporter) and a group of amateur criminals get a tip on an easy bank score which ends up being a lot more than they planned for. I thought this movie was really good. It had a sorta old time heist movie feel to the whole thing and every character plays their role very well. The only problem I have is that Jason Stratham is always just Jason Stratham. Sure he does a good job being the family man thief, looking for a better life for his wife and kids, but hes still Jason Stratham instead of his character, his appearance looks exactly like all his other roles. Its a British heist movie so his voice is the exact same as all his other roles. Not that this is a problem, I love his movies, but he could really use a movie where they give him some hair and make him speak without an accent.
Overall I would give it a 4 out of 5

Hitman: Timothy Olyphant (Live Free or Die Hard) plays Agent 47 the perfect killer from the hit video game series in a movie not short on crazy gunfight scenes. This movie was interesting. The action scenes were very good and conveyed the badassness that you feel in the game. However the script was absolutely horrible. I wasn't expecting a cinematic masterpiece but some of the parts were really painful. Also while some parts expresses the darkness of the latest two games, it could have been a little better. Also the game is more about the silent kill. Sure you can have the gunfights to spice up the movie but if its a Hitman movie, there should be him sneaking up with the piano wire or killing with a engineered creative kill, at least more creative than some fancy shooting. I don't know how this did in the theater but I guess it leaves a lot to be improved in the sequel.
Overall I would give it a 3 out of 5

Conspiracy: Val Kilmer (take your pick, hes done a bunch) plays an ex-marine spook who gets called to an Arizona town by his friend to help out but when he gets there he must unravel the mystery about why no one seems to know his friend. Why Val Kilmer are you taking roles like this? Aside from portraying a fairly believable amputee, its an awful movie. Its almost like they told Val Kilmer that he could be fat if he wanted to if he took this role. Sure the fight scenes are alright, more amazing that the enemies are as bad of shots as they are. It misses out on the dry comedic whit that I like about Val Kilmer in most of his movies. Its just one of about a half dozen movies out now trying to show the hardships of illegal Mexican immigrants in border towns. Overall its really not worth seeing and was definitely disappointing.
I would give it a 1 out of 5

Rambo: Slyvester Stalone (take your pick) reprises his role as commando killing machine John Rambo. Except this time aging Stalone, still big as a house, comes out of "retirement" to save a bunch of missionaries in Burma. This movie is the definition of violent. Head shots with a 50 cal? Check. Gutting people with a machete? Check. There's limbs flying and bodies exploding into an abundance of blood. Honestly it wasn't that bad. In fact after seeing the first couple Rambo movies, this movie was actually much better in my opinion. Instead of the human weapon in a civilian situation, hes out in his element using every weapon at his disposal. It wasn't an award worthy masterpiece or anything but it was definitely a decent sendoff for the series.
I give it a 3.5 out of 5

Fool's Gold: Matthew McConnehey and Kate Hudson are treasure hunters, with a rocky relationship, looking for The Queen's Dowry in sunken vessels in the Caribbean. Sure its a chick flick, but its got decent humor and plenty of eye candy with Kate Hudson. The only thing that drove me crazy was the daughter character. So obscenely annoying I was praying every time there was gunfire, even when she wasn't in the scene, that she would somehow get killed. Other then that it was pretty darn good. Good one to watch with your girl.
I give it a 3.5 out of 5