Friday, October 31, 2008

Too Late and Zombie Troubles

After slacking through the entire week and not writing about the previous weekend, I'm not sure if it will get written about in detail. However here are a few things that we learned in the last weekend:

1) BMS should not drive and use the Blackberry at the same time- Holy crap. Emailing and driving on winding back roads and highways don't mix. I think my finger marks are permanently ingrained in the armrests.

2) Jeb's dad's boat is the shizzle- It's so close to the battleships in the harbor that you could stand on the back and peg people with rocks (if you wanted to do that) and once you're inside you can barely tell that you're even on a boat.

3) Charleston is Heaven- There is a five to one hot girl to guy ratio. So so many hot women. One day I will be there.

4) Women doing believable cricket noises is a surprising turn 0n- Yeah I didn't realize it myself.

and the big # 5

A lot of gas stations close by 11:00- Saturday night we had no gas and were crossing our fingers when the Garmin said that the next closest station was another 15 miles away (through the middle of flooded nowhere). Its OK the first time it tells you this, but by the fifth time in a muscle car, you start to worry a little bit.


Now on to zombies. I've been playing Dead Rising and had an incredibly angering time today with it. Here is my story.

I polish off the one boss easily with several shotgun blasts and get a call from Otis that my services are needed. I jump kick and smack my way through the zombies to a boarded up clothing store where two people have barricaded themselves in. I fight off the horde of zombie outside like the pimp I am and move some barricade to get inside. I'm rewarded with one of the two inhabitants running up and smacking me with a bat before I can explain that I'm here to save them. So I wail on him for a little until he finally gives up and he and his buddy decide to allow me to save their lives. I get outside the barricade and call for them to follow me while I restock some weapons at the hardware store. The hardware store is always good for zombie killing. I return to find that they not only got hung up on the environment, they are now fighting through zombies very poorly. I help them out and we go talk to Brad, which basically takes fighting though masses of zombies to have him be pissed off at some old man. So we head back the other way. A couple zombies catch me but overall I'm doing OK, and the two guys I saved are being troopers. I get another call from Otis which causes me to have to run around like a crazy person since the game doesn't allow me to fight and hear about missions at the same time. I'm told that there's a woman in the jewelery store who need my help. So my merry band of shitty fighters follows me to the jewelery store, sort of. As I go inside I look out and the biggest group of zombies ever has surrounded the two morons and they are not knocking down any of them. I head outside and somehow pick off the zombies with a shotgun without hurting the two guys in the middle. I get one of them back inside and the other one decides that he wants to crawl to the store. I'm waiting forever and picking off the zombies that are trying to eat him. I finally get them in the shop and talk to the girl who is hysterical over the loss of her baby. Unfortunately this means that she doesn't want to walk. So I scoop her up and realize that this has caused me to not be able to get over the counter and out the door. So I have to put her down, jump the counter and then stand there like a moron and call for them to follow me. This takes what seems like hours and finally I scoop her up and run through the horde of zombies(since again I can't do shit with her on my back) yelling to tweedle dum and tweedle dee to follow me. I get past two areas of the mall and get to the giant park in the middle. Unfortunately this starts a cut scene with three crazy guys on a Humvee running people down. So I run on up and invite the girl to join me in my trek to safety which is right across the clearing.
So I now have a girl on my back, and a girl and two guys running behind me through a park full of zombies. I think that I have lucked out because the hummer seems to be leaving my party alone for the time being and we cross the park with barely any incidents (besides the two guys getting stuck in a decorative pond until I walked up and continued yelling in their faces for them to follow me). We get to the door and its blocked by tons of zombies. I pull out my shotgun to clear a path when one zombie grabs me. One of the retard twins does his best to get it off me with the gun I had given him and manages to shoot me twice. As I'm picking up the girl again and thinking how awesome it will be when I get four rescues at the same time, out of nowhere the Humvee comes blasting on through smacking me into the wall following it up by blasting me to death with the mounted machine gun on the back.

And that's all she wrote. No rescue. No big bonus and feeling of wicked awesomeness. Just me, starting the game over.

Damn Zombies.

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