So this weekend my dad came to visit from Pennsylvania and so I was looking for things to do when he was here instead of just sitting around or going to bars (my parents don't drink). So I heard that Greenville was getting an arena football team at the Bilo Center and this weekend was going to be their first game. I asked him if he'd be interested and he said he was so we went.
We got there a little early, thinking that it could be packed from the advertising that I had heard. People were waiting but we soon found that plenty of seats were still available and we were given seats five rows from the field (for half price, a special they were running, that should have tipped us off). So we get inside and the game is supposed to start at 7. The Bilo center has been tricked out with a mini football field (only 50 yards) with the goal posts replaced with a hanging PVC apparatus. The field is essentially just a cement floor covered with some outdoor carpet surrounded by the bottoms of the old hockey boards covered with padding. Having little faith or low preparation beforehand, the field proclaims the Austin Wranglers instead of the South Carolina Force, as it should. In addition, the ends of the field are still uncovered cement. We sit there and 7 rolls around and the teams continue practicing on the field and the announcer comes on saying that the game would be delayed at least a half hour for "technical difficulties". They suddenly realize that they only half assed the field and start putting down the one missing end, sticking some outdoor carpet down with double sided tape. 8pm rolls around and they have barely finished the one side but start doing the vast team introductions and reading of pre-written sponsor selling points. That's right, they read sales pitches for all of their sponsors, after delaying the game for over an hour. At the same time they seem to have misplaced the outdoor carpeting from the one side and are just laying down some foam padding. The announcer has already referred to the Force as the Drive (Greenville's baseball team) several times. They lose the music for the National Anthem and the girl has to uncomfortably sing it without, which was a mix of different speeds and pitches. But finally at about 8:30 the 7pm game gets started.
We soon realize that the football is laughably bad. The referees call far too many penalties (especially unsportsmanlike contact, which happens at least ten times in the half). The players seem to have never practiced and its a little more than a sandlot game of football with sponsors. There's also unusual rules where extra points are added for kickoffs going through the uprights, and penalty points given to the other team for kickoffs that went out of the end zone (even though this only happened at certain times and not others). The loudest cheers happened when a poor pass by the Greenville quarterback flew into the stands and an 8 year old kid made a perfect catch to the roar of the crowd. Thankfully we made it to the half.
During halftime several hilariously poorly planned events occurred: the dancers' music was lost and they stood in the center of the field waiting for it to turn on before just running off the field, the cancer survivor's little daughter ran around the group of people on the field as her mother talked, like a little blond haired satellite. Then they sent the teams back out with five minutes left on the clock and they basically just waited around lost on the field until it ran out.
The third quarter was more of the same and by the end we had both had enough and exited the half filled arena.
It was so comically bad that I wasn't even sure if I didn't want to come see another one or not. In one way it was so terribly planned and played but almost to a hilariously entertaining way. I have never laughed so much at a sporting event. I get the feeling that with a group of friends and a couple beers it would be as good as an unintentional Harlem Globetrotters-esque spectacle.
Saturday, March 21, 2009
Saturday, February 14, 2009
Valentine's Day Sweetheart
I have already written this blog once, got the whole way through and Opera first wouldn't let you use the spell check feature and then deleted what I wrote before I could copy and save it. Bye bye Opera. Here we go again.
Despite being America's Sweetheart and the lovable peach of a guy that I am, I find myself single again on Valentine's Day. I know its just another day, trumped up by candy and flower companies to be a romantic holiday, it still sorta wears on a guy. Although really its nothing new, I have never been in a relationship on the day. So what's a single guy to do to pass the time on such a romantic day?
Huge Pizza, Horror Movie, Long Nap.
I spent most of the day watching movies (I know, nothing new). I started my day with the romantic classic Saw V. I felt it lived up to its Saw brethren, with lots of gross-out "incredible machine-esque" bloody deaths. There were a few parts that I thought were sort of illogical, such as why they people didn't use the dead body for blood instead of putting their own arms in the machine full of saws, or at least trying to break the glass on the top first. I am still amazed that the original Jigsaw killer is still a large part of the movie, despite having died two movies ago. Perhaps they should move forward in the next movie and start working away from that character and focus more on the new killer. He definitely has a creepy enough look to carry the franchise. I definitely thought though that the girl from Dexter would end up being in on the act, since they had made her up to look like the old assistant and her seeming knowledge of how everything worked in the challenge. Who knows, despite laying in a puddle of blood, her arm is never shown, so she could have faked it and let the other guy take the full blunt of it. He looked pretty not alive by the end. So I guess if you're looking for the gross-out psychological horror movie that the other Saw movies are known for, you wont be disappointed with this one.
I followed it up with a surprising, under-hyped amazing movie. The Lucky Ones follows a group of American soldiers, home for a 30 day medical leave after taking various injuries in Iraq and being thrown together in an impromptu cross country road trip. While Tim Robbins and Michael Pena do a great job in their roles, Rachel McAdams is brilliant as a private returning a guitar to the family of soldier who saved her life. She has such an endearing, filter-free but super sweet quality to her that you can definitely relate to. Her humorous little comments really carry the movie. I know its too late for Oscar consideration, but she definitely should have been included in the supporting actress race. If you get the chance to see this movie, I highly recommend picking it up, you wont be disappointed.
So while you may have thought that I was going to throw a nice "whoa is me" blog up for you, I switched it around with the help of two very different movies. That and eating half a pizza and passing out on my couch for a long nap, allowing me to write this blog twice after 2am. Perhaps something romantic next year, but I wont hold my breathe.
Despite being America's Sweetheart and the lovable peach of a guy that I am, I find myself single again on Valentine's Day. I know its just another day, trumped up by candy and flower companies to be a romantic holiday, it still sorta wears on a guy. Although really its nothing new, I have never been in a relationship on the day. So what's a single guy to do to pass the time on such a romantic day?
Huge Pizza, Horror Movie, Long Nap.
I spent most of the day watching movies (I know, nothing new). I started my day with the romantic classic Saw V. I felt it lived up to its Saw brethren, with lots of gross-out "incredible machine-esque" bloody deaths. There were a few parts that I thought were sort of illogical, such as why they people didn't use the dead body for blood instead of putting their own arms in the machine full of saws, or at least trying to break the glass on the top first. I am still amazed that the original Jigsaw killer is still a large part of the movie, despite having died two movies ago. Perhaps they should move forward in the next movie and start working away from that character and focus more on the new killer. He definitely has a creepy enough look to carry the franchise. I definitely thought though that the girl from Dexter would end up being in on the act, since they had made her up to look like the old assistant and her seeming knowledge of how everything worked in the challenge. Who knows, despite laying in a puddle of blood, her arm is never shown, so she could have faked it and let the other guy take the full blunt of it. He looked pretty not alive by the end. So I guess if you're looking for the gross-out psychological horror movie that the other Saw movies are known for, you wont be disappointed with this one.
I followed it up with a surprising, under-hyped amazing movie. The Lucky Ones follows a group of American soldiers, home for a 30 day medical leave after taking various injuries in Iraq and being thrown together in an impromptu cross country road trip. While Tim Robbins and Michael Pena do a great job in their roles, Rachel McAdams is brilliant as a private returning a guitar to the family of soldier who saved her life. She has such an endearing, filter-free but super sweet quality to her that you can definitely relate to. Her humorous little comments really carry the movie. I know its too late for Oscar consideration, but she definitely should have been included in the supporting actress race. If you get the chance to see this movie, I highly recommend picking it up, you wont be disappointed.
So while you may have thought that I was going to throw a nice "whoa is me" blog up for you, I switched it around with the help of two very different movies. That and eating half a pizza and passing out on my couch for a long nap, allowing me to write this blog twice after 2am. Perhaps something romantic next year, but I wont hold my breathe.
Monday, February 9, 2009
While Barrack Goes On and On....
I will write for yall. Watching him speak, I find that he doesn't really know the meaning of the words "unanimous" or "bipartisan". I'm sorta wondering why he's so insistent in instructing the American people on why the bail out plan is the way to go. It's not like any of us can do anything to stop him, even if we cared to.
But anyway my weekend was pretty darn fun. After last weekend in Clemson, I had no intention to go anywhere else but back to Clemson this weekend. I always have a blast there. So I rolled into Clemson around 7 and even though I did so because I thought that Jeb or BMS would beat me home, I still beat them to their own house. Definite downsides with having crazy jobs teamed with an hour commute (hopefully not for much longer, crossing fingers and such). So I let the dogs out, taking a moment to relish the 60 degree February night overlooking the lake. Moments like that are why I believe that South Carolina is paradise. Of course my moment of reflection was short lived when Trimmy didn't want anything to do with standing around on the porch. I eventually let both dogs back inside where they attacked me while I tried to read a magazine, until Jeb and BMS finally showed up.
The reason Jeb was so late was that he had a little problem with his tire that morning and BMS had to take him to, and pick him up from work. To say that his tire was flat would be the understatement of the year. I have never seen a tire that flat. It looked like he had found out that he had a flat, went out and did high speed donuts on it and then raced it back to the garage on the rim. It was dead as a doornail. He planned to change it out Saturday (and Sunday, but I doubt it happened then either). So by the time they got there, I was starving. But unlike normally, they had a plan on where to go and we went to TD's where far too much fried food was consumed. I have to say though, that they make the best grilled cheese I have ever had in my life. Absolutely amazing.
So after dinner, BMS's abundance of energy had left her quicker than the air in Jeb's tire, and she bid us adieu and we hopped next door to our home away from home, Griffin's. Tony, the owner of Griffin's is a really cool guy and he loves when Jeb and I show up. I don't know if its the abundance of money that we throw down, or just the sheer awesome-ness that we possess, but every time we go there its a great feeling, and I feel kinda like a VIP. We have our usual seats at the end of the bar. The hot bartender ladies love us. Its just a blast the whole time we're there.
Unfortunately Jeb's ex-wife showed up as well and decided to strike up a conversation with Jeb before joining her group of friends. This seemed to really bother Jeb all night, but we still did our best to get by it and have fun. For once Jeb asked to leave before I did and so at about 1 in the morning, we started walking home. We had gotten about half way down the street and I was walking down a little dirt slope when POW down I went. It happened so fast that I was lying on the ground before I knew it. Jeb started laughing as I scrambled back up and I eventually joined him in chuckling as we continued back down the road. It was a hilarious finish to a great evening.
But anyway my weekend was pretty darn fun. After last weekend in Clemson, I had no intention to go anywhere else but back to Clemson this weekend. I always have a blast there. So I rolled into Clemson around 7 and even though I did so because I thought that Jeb or BMS would beat me home, I still beat them to their own house. Definite downsides with having crazy jobs teamed with an hour commute (hopefully not for much longer, crossing fingers and such). So I let the dogs out, taking a moment to relish the 60 degree February night overlooking the lake. Moments like that are why I believe that South Carolina is paradise. Of course my moment of reflection was short lived when Trimmy didn't want anything to do with standing around on the porch. I eventually let both dogs back inside where they attacked me while I tried to read a magazine, until Jeb and BMS finally showed up.
The reason Jeb was so late was that he had a little problem with his tire that morning and BMS had to take him to, and pick him up from work. To say that his tire was flat would be the understatement of the year. I have never seen a tire that flat. It looked like he had found out that he had a flat, went out and did high speed donuts on it and then raced it back to the garage on the rim. It was dead as a doornail. He planned to change it out Saturday (and Sunday, but I doubt it happened then either). So by the time they got there, I was starving. But unlike normally, they had a plan on where to go and we went to TD's where far too much fried food was consumed. I have to say though, that they make the best grilled cheese I have ever had in my life. Absolutely amazing.
So after dinner, BMS's abundance of energy had left her quicker than the air in Jeb's tire, and she bid us adieu and we hopped next door to our home away from home, Griffin's. Tony, the owner of Griffin's is a really cool guy and he loves when Jeb and I show up. I don't know if its the abundance of money that we throw down, or just the sheer awesome-ness that we possess, but every time we go there its a great feeling, and I feel kinda like a VIP. We have our usual seats at the end of the bar. The hot bartender ladies love us. Its just a blast the whole time we're there.
Unfortunately Jeb's ex-wife showed up as well and decided to strike up a conversation with Jeb before joining her group of friends. This seemed to really bother Jeb all night, but we still did our best to get by it and have fun. For once Jeb asked to leave before I did and so at about 1 in the morning, we started walking home. We had gotten about half way down the street and I was walking down a little dirt slope when POW down I went. It happened so fast that I was lying on the ground before I knew it. Jeb started laughing as I scrambled back up and I eventually joined him in chuckling as we continued back down the road. It was a hilarious finish to a great evening.
Monday, February 2, 2009
Monday Monday
So I noticed that I now have 100 posts with that philosophical one from last time. Wish I would have known and I would have made it something good, but so is life.
What a game last night in the Super Bowl. I was down at Jeb's, watching the game on his big ass TV and it was exactly how the Super Bowl should be watched. I found myself cheering for both teams as they went down the stretch, but I'm definitely happy that the Steelers pulled it out. As a Pennsylvania native, I'm sorta attached to that team to do well. Either that or Philly, but Donavan McNabb is a douche bag so there ya go.
So anyway I got this little questionnaire on Facebook today from two of my friends and while I really don't want to support that foolishness on Facebook I thought I would answer the questions on the blog, so that people that would be subject to them are making a conscious decision to read about me, without being bombarded with "25 QUESTIONS OMG BBQ LOL WELCOME TO THE INTERNETS". So here we go:
1. Were you named after anyone? I was born in the 80's and I believe that my parents have said that in the 80's Michael was very popular pop-culturally with Michael Jackson (before he went all crazy and child molestery) so I think that had something to do with it, but otherwise I think they were happy not to give me the family middle name, Eugene.
2. When was the last time you cried? I almost cried at the end of several movies lately, but I held it together. Before that I was having a really bad allergic reaction to a date's cats when we went back to her place. That was sorta embarrassing.
3. Do you like your handwriting? I print very neatly, but only use the cursive handwriting to sign my name. I think my signature is pretty good, very doctory, somewhat looks like my dad's.
4. What is your favorite lunch meat? Turkey
5. Do you have kids? Nope, probably not anytime soon. I'm still too much of a kid myself.
6. If you were another person, would you be friends with you? I'd like to think I would be, I think I have a good sense of humor and I'm a good loyal friend, but at the same time I don't know which other person I would be, maybe that other person would have dissimilar interests. But I'd like to think that the people that surround me as friends are a lot like me, so I guess I subconsciously do enjoy my company.
7. Do you use sarcasm? Who me? Never.
8. Do you still have your tonsils? Probably, I haven't enquired about their status lately.
9. Would you bungee jump? In a heartbeat, I definitely want to try it someday, I have 75 skydives but I think that bungee jumping would be terrifying. Its so low.
10. What is your favorite cereal? Cocoa Pebbles. Although I currently have three healthy cereals that I haven't touched in months.
11. Do you untie your shoes when you take them off? No, my shoes are usually pretty loose on my feet, I slip in and out of them sitting at my desk at work.
What happened to 12, I blame Coffey for skipping another number.
13. What is your favorite ice cream? Mint Chocolate Chip or Peanut Butter Cup, although the lactose intolerance has really cut down on my ice cream intake.
14. What is the first thing you notice about people? Their personalities. Either that or their boobs.
15. Red or pink? Red.
16. What is your least favorite thing about yourself? I have really bad skin. I've done everything I can to make it better but it never works. I guess I'm cursed.
17. Who do you miss the most? Mikkel Green, I wish he lived out here in the western part of the state, driving 8 hours in a weekend is really not an attractive proposition. But I miss having Mikkel around.
18. Do you want everyone to complete this list? No, like I said before, its really annoying on Facebook.
19. What color pants and shoes are you wearing? Blue jeans, no shoes, white socks. I was wearing brown shoes but I'm home now so there's no need for shoes.
Another missed number.....
21. What are you listening to right now? Its actually really quiet in my apartment right now, too quiet........AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
22. If you were a crayon, what color would you be? This reminds me of "If you were a hot dog would you eat yourself?" or "If the moon was made of spare ribs, would you eat it?", but I think I would be black (just like your mother Jeb :) ) because unlike Coffey's answer, I would like to helpful to a lot of people, until they use me up.
23. Favorite scents? Sheets fresh out of the dryer, jambalaya, that smell that women have that is a mix between flowers and fruit.
24. Who was the last person you talked to on the phone? Ish on the phone. DP on the text messages.
25. Do you like the person who sent this to you? Oh yeah, they're both awesome, wish they both lived closer, and were kid free.
26. Favorite sports to watch? Hockey (in person, it loses a lot on TV). Baseball close second.
27. Hair color? Brown.
28. Eye color? Hazel.
29. Do you wear contacts? No, I tried growing up but could never get them in. Then a couple years ago I had lasik, so I hope that I wont have to worry about that stuff again.
30. Favorite food? My mom's beef stroganoff, or steak.
31. Scary movies or happy endings? Depends on my mood, I watch a bunch of both.
32. Last movie you watched? I saw Step Brothers and Burn After Reading last weekend. Both of which were the type of movie that once they were done, you scratch your head and wonder what to say about it and don't know if they were good or bad.
33. What color shirt are you wearing? Blue. Completing the mental picture of me. Unless there's an underwear/ body type question later.
34. Summer or winter? Summer, I left Pennsylvania to get away from the cold, its paradise for three seasons down here but then there's that pesky cold snap.
35. Hugs or kisses? I'm pretty down with both.
Another missed number....COFFEY!!!
37. Most likely to respond? Well my blog is kinda my show, but Jeb and D.P. might comment, they do the most.
38. Least likely to respond? I don't really know who all frequents my blog, so probably one of my secret fans.
39. What book are you reading now? Quantum of Solace, The Ultimate Hitchhiker's Guide, Lord of the Flies. I have a bad habit of starting one before I finish another.
40. What is on your mouse pad? I don't have one, don't really need one with a laser mouse unless you have a clear desk.
41. What did you watch on TV last night? The Super Bowl, it was pretty late by the time I got home after that.
42. Favorite sound? Women's laughter. There's just something therapeutic about it.
43. Rolling Stones or Beatles? Stones over Beatles, but I'd listen to both.
44. What is the farthest you have been from home? Cancun.
45. Do you have a special talent? I'm a world class lover.
46. Where were you born? York, Pennsylvania
47. Whose answers are you looking forward to getting back? I don't think I'm going to get anyone filling this out in my comment box, but I guess I look forward to Jeb's comments.
48. Where did you meet your significant other? N/A. Last one was at a party.
Fun Times kids, time to make dinner. Catch ya'll later.
What a game last night in the Super Bowl. I was down at Jeb's, watching the game on his big ass TV and it was exactly how the Super Bowl should be watched. I found myself cheering for both teams as they went down the stretch, but I'm definitely happy that the Steelers pulled it out. As a Pennsylvania native, I'm sorta attached to that team to do well. Either that or Philly, but Donavan McNabb is a douche bag so there ya go.
So anyway I got this little questionnaire on Facebook today from two of my friends and while I really don't want to support that foolishness on Facebook I thought I would answer the questions on the blog, so that people that would be subject to them are making a conscious decision to read about me, without being bombarded with "25 QUESTIONS OMG BBQ LOL WELCOME TO THE INTERNETS". So here we go:
1. Were you named after anyone? I was born in the 80's and I believe that my parents have said that in the 80's Michael was very popular pop-culturally with Michael Jackson (before he went all crazy and child molestery) so I think that had something to do with it, but otherwise I think they were happy not to give me the family middle name, Eugene.
2. When was the last time you cried? I almost cried at the end of several movies lately, but I held it together. Before that I was having a really bad allergic reaction to a date's cats when we went back to her place. That was sorta embarrassing.
3. Do you like your handwriting? I print very neatly, but only use the cursive handwriting to sign my name. I think my signature is pretty good, very doctory, somewhat looks like my dad's.
4. What is your favorite lunch meat? Turkey
5. Do you have kids? Nope, probably not anytime soon. I'm still too much of a kid myself.
6. If you were another person, would you be friends with you? I'd like to think I would be, I think I have a good sense of humor and I'm a good loyal friend, but at the same time I don't know which other person I would be, maybe that other person would have dissimilar interests. But I'd like to think that the people that surround me as friends are a lot like me, so I guess I subconsciously do enjoy my company.
7. Do you use sarcasm? Who me? Never.
8. Do you still have your tonsils? Probably, I haven't enquired about their status lately.
9. Would you bungee jump? In a heartbeat, I definitely want to try it someday, I have 75 skydives but I think that bungee jumping would be terrifying. Its so low.
10. What is your favorite cereal? Cocoa Pebbles. Although I currently have three healthy cereals that I haven't touched in months.
11. Do you untie your shoes when you take them off? No, my shoes are usually pretty loose on my feet, I slip in and out of them sitting at my desk at work.
What happened to 12, I blame Coffey for skipping another number.
13. What is your favorite ice cream? Mint Chocolate Chip or Peanut Butter Cup, although the lactose intolerance has really cut down on my ice cream intake.
14. What is the first thing you notice about people? Their personalities. Either that or their boobs.
15. Red or pink? Red.
16. What is your least favorite thing about yourself? I have really bad skin. I've done everything I can to make it better but it never works. I guess I'm cursed.
17. Who do you miss the most? Mikkel Green, I wish he lived out here in the western part of the state, driving 8 hours in a weekend is really not an attractive proposition. But I miss having Mikkel around.
18. Do you want everyone to complete this list? No, like I said before, its really annoying on Facebook.
19. What color pants and shoes are you wearing? Blue jeans, no shoes, white socks. I was wearing brown shoes but I'm home now so there's no need for shoes.
Another missed number.....
21. What are you listening to right now? Its actually really quiet in my apartment right now, too quiet........AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
22. If you were a crayon, what color would you be? This reminds me of "If you were a hot dog would you eat yourself?" or "If the moon was made of spare ribs, would you eat it?", but I think I would be black (just like your mother Jeb :) ) because unlike Coffey's answer, I would like to helpful to a lot of people, until they use me up.
23. Favorite scents? Sheets fresh out of the dryer, jambalaya, that smell that women have that is a mix between flowers and fruit.
24. Who was the last person you talked to on the phone? Ish on the phone. DP on the text messages.
25. Do you like the person who sent this to you? Oh yeah, they're both awesome, wish they both lived closer, and were kid free.
26. Favorite sports to watch? Hockey (in person, it loses a lot on TV). Baseball close second.
27. Hair color? Brown.
28. Eye color? Hazel.
29. Do you wear contacts? No, I tried growing up but could never get them in. Then a couple years ago I had lasik, so I hope that I wont have to worry about that stuff again.
30. Favorite food? My mom's beef stroganoff, or steak.
31. Scary movies or happy endings? Depends on my mood, I watch a bunch of both.
32. Last movie you watched? I saw Step Brothers and Burn After Reading last weekend. Both of which were the type of movie that once they were done, you scratch your head and wonder what to say about it and don't know if they were good or bad.
33. What color shirt are you wearing? Blue. Completing the mental picture of me. Unless there's an underwear/ body type question later.
34. Summer or winter? Summer, I left Pennsylvania to get away from the cold, its paradise for three seasons down here but then there's that pesky cold snap.
35. Hugs or kisses? I'm pretty down with both.
Another missed number....COFFEY!!!
37. Most likely to respond? Well my blog is kinda my show, but Jeb and D.P. might comment, they do the most.
38. Least likely to respond? I don't really know who all frequents my blog, so probably one of my secret fans.
39. What book are you reading now? Quantum of Solace, The Ultimate Hitchhiker's Guide, Lord of the Flies. I have a bad habit of starting one before I finish another.
40. What is on your mouse pad? I don't have one, don't really need one with a laser mouse unless you have a clear desk.
41. What did you watch on TV last night? The Super Bowl, it was pretty late by the time I got home after that.
42. Favorite sound? Women's laughter. There's just something therapeutic about it.
43. Rolling Stones or Beatles? Stones over Beatles, but I'd listen to both.
44. What is the farthest you have been from home? Cancun.
45. Do you have a special talent? I'm a world class lover.
46. Where were you born? York, Pennsylvania
47. Whose answers are you looking forward to getting back? I don't think I'm going to get anyone filling this out in my comment box, but I guess I look forward to Jeb's comments.
48. Where did you meet your significant other? N/A. Last one was at a party.
Fun Times kids, time to make dinner. Catch ya'll later.
Wednesday, January 28, 2009
Wondering...
I was thinking today, are the people that I think are stupid actually the smart ones and I'm the dumb one? It's sorta a distressing thing to think about.
I hope I'm just right.
I hope I'm just right.
Monday, January 26, 2009
You Know You Play Too Much Farcry 2...
1. You develop a natural fear of Jeep Liberties- When you play for hours and every time you see one of these death wagons roll up and some douche bag with an AK tries to run you over and then hops out and tries to punch holes in your nice soft skin, suddenly the soccer mom following you on the highway seems like America's most wanted.
2. You start looking for helpful flashing objects in every room- So what if someone hasn't hidden briefcases of uncut diamonds in my bathroom, there's gotta be something in here that I can use.
3. You carry around a ratchet set in your car- Just in case the engine starts smoking and you need to tighten that handy bolt on the radiator that fixes everything from bullet holes to smacking into a rock wall.
4. You attach important papers to cardboard- Heck that map in the game suddenly becomes water proof, bullet proof, fire proof, doesn't stain, tear or become misplaced. It also somehow folds up into a tiny pocket sized carry on. Hell my keys are going to be attached to cardboard.
5. You wonder about the everyday businesses around you- Which are ammo strongholds? Which are harboring arms dealers? Which have huge gas tanks just waiting to blow with an arrant sniper shot? Danger is everywhere.
2. You start looking for helpful flashing objects in every room- So what if someone hasn't hidden briefcases of uncut diamonds in my bathroom, there's gotta be something in here that I can use.
3. You carry around a ratchet set in your car- Just in case the engine starts smoking and you need to tighten that handy bolt on the radiator that fixes everything from bullet holes to smacking into a rock wall.
4. You attach important papers to cardboard- Heck that map in the game suddenly becomes water proof, bullet proof, fire proof, doesn't stain, tear or become misplaced. It also somehow folds up into a tiny pocket sized carry on. Hell my keys are going to be attached to cardboard.
5. You wonder about the everyday businesses around you- Which are ammo strongholds? Which are harboring arms dealers? Which have huge gas tanks just waiting to blow with an arrant sniper shot? Danger is everywhere.
Friday, January 23, 2009
Mieneke
I found out today that Mieneke (sp?) is the place to go. I'm really terrible about getting my oil changed when I should but today I was like, "Hell why not, get some better gas millage and stuff" (my car is already a frickin beast, it gets like high twenties MPG and I can still blow by shitty hybrids like they're standing still). Now I went to Jiffy Lube before, after telling my coworkers that it had been like 20,000 miles since I got my oil changed and they looked at me like my car should be on fire in the parking lot, and Jiffy Lube has like a million little guys running around and fixing shit and it seems really professional. But they bring you out into the shop and have you look at this computer that says that they reccomend you get all this shit fixed and that they can cut you a deal for like $900 bucks for all this crap that I know my three year old car doesn't need.
So I walk into Mieneke today and they're like "We'll look at 45 different things, change your filters, rotate your tires, and give it a happy ending for $20 and a Bojangles bisquit." They have George "Grillmaster" Forman smiling at me from the counter and I'm like "hell yeah, hell go all supreme on its ass." So I'm reading a couple magazines, finding out that Sports Illustrated really hangs on Peyton Manning's penis and the guy is like "For six bucks a tire, we'll balance those biznatches for you," So I figure that they're already basically jacking off my car in the back for like nothing, why not. So they keep doing their thing and it goes on for a while and the guy comes back to me again. He starts telling me what a good girl my car was and all the systems were all pristine and crap and ends with a little "Your transmission fluid is breaking down a little bit, but thats like the only thing" So I ask how much that would be and start trying to look around like rainman for their big board of prices. He says something like $100, and I was thinking in my head that if it was like $40 I might go all out today and spoil her. But I said no and he didnt give me the "you're gonna die" sigh that they do and I finished reading my magazine and paid my tiny bill and the car runs like a dream.
Way to go Mieneke.
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