Long long time no blogs, but after finishing up my third wedding of the summer, one in which I was a member of the wedding party, it gave me thoughts about the whole wedding celebration. Thoughts I would like to share with anyone who still checks this blog:
1. Short Wedding, Long Reception: No one in the church wants the priest to try to make jokes at the young couple's expense while going on for twenty minutes in a sermon about compromise. Your groomsmen are wearing three piece suits in the 90 degree church. Get to the point. I dos and out the door.
Reception on the other hand can go on for days. Feed your people a meal, they came a long way and spent far too much for you to run them through some appetizers. If you're planning on getting out of there in a half hour or less, just don't bother. Also OPEN BAR.
2. AC in the church: Like I said above, if you're making your groomsmen wear three piece suits, that church needs to be cold. Unless you want to have your friends be remembered as the guy who passed out at your wedding. Sweating balls during a twenty minute sermon sucks.
3. Kids in the wedding: Flower girls and ring bearers are adorable but really should be stopped. Yes it is cute that they're wearing mini versions of big people clothes. But most of the time they are just running around complaining during the ceremony being a distraction. Also during the reception, when they call for single guys and girls for the tossings, they don't mean your five year old.
4. Did I mention OPEN BAR?: Doesn't have to be a full bar, but lets get real. This is an adult ceremony, and there's probably some single people here. Sober people don't do the electric slide.
5. Bubbles are dumb: Seems to be a new trend sparked by the rumor that pigeons explode from eating wedding rice. Lies. Pelt those suckers with some Uncle Ben's. Old school beats cute anyday.
Also we came up with an correlation between the shiny-ness of rented shoes and their discomfort..... be warned.
Sunday, September 20, 2009
Wednesday, March 25, 2009
It's a Wednesday but if no one told me I would still be thinking it was Tuesday
True Story.
For half the day I really thought it was Tuesday. Probably due to the fact that I was out of the office all day yesturday and the general awfulness of the installation job that I was roped into "helping" with makes me want to forget that day. The type of day that makes someone go home and drink in the shower. It's sort of scary though seeing as I have one of those day calendar things with movie trivia questions on it (today's answer was Natalie Portman, can't have a bad day on a Natalie Portman day) and so I most likely looked at the calender several times this morning. But no, I figured out it was Wednesday when the office went out to lunch to bid a fond fairwell to Tim and get free Mexican food. They had new lunch special menu's printed out and instead of having the same lunch specials everyday, they change. So I was all set to order some nice Tuesday special when my boss goes "Let's see what they have for Wednesday's" and I had a mini "duh" moment that I quashed with some chips and salsa. Along with the development's running up to my car in the rain this morning to give me breakfast, it was a pretty nice free food day. We were going to have free cake too but that got pushed to tomorrow, even though I rushed back from flawlessly setting up an LED sign to get a piece. The only thing that would top off my free food day better would be if someone showed up at my door with free dinner. Or head. That would be pretty good too.
I decided this afternoon that Jeb really needs to start video blogging and tape a new song each week that he makes up and performs to the internet populous. I may have to run this by him this weekend and maybe even bring my camera to facilitate the epic internet stardom that would be sure to follow.
As I mentioned before, my dad visited last weekend. And between discussions about baseball we had one about movie remakes or rebooting of franchises, which we both agreed was really lazy on a filmmaking standpoint. Sure the new Batman movies and Bond movies were good, but at least with James Bond movies, why not call it a sequal. Theres like 25 of them, and coming up with the plotline to a new Bond movie is about as easy as spelling words with alphabet soup. We did agree however that there are some movies that have always been considered classics but would be ten times better today with a remake. Some of these included Alfred Hitchcock movies (especially the Birds, which looking back is a hokey movie, but if it was redone, it would be scary as all hell) and Jaws. But overall I really think the whole Hollywood "reboot the franchise" thing is dumb as hell. I heard the other week that they were thinking about rebooting The Fantastic Four. Sure the movies were really stupid (I still haven't seen the second one, because the previews made me want to hit Stan Lee with a newspaper), but they came out like two years ago. And redoing them as dark as Batman wont make them somehow cooler, just make my eyes burn when I exit the theater. Come up with something new please.
Ok I'm spent, gotta think of a way to get free dinner.
For half the day I really thought it was Tuesday. Probably due to the fact that I was out of the office all day yesturday and the general awfulness of the installation job that I was roped into "helping" with makes me want to forget that day. The type of day that makes someone go home and drink in the shower. It's sort of scary though seeing as I have one of those day calendar things with movie trivia questions on it (today's answer was Natalie Portman, can't have a bad day on a Natalie Portman day) and so I most likely looked at the calender several times this morning. But no, I figured out it was Wednesday when the office went out to lunch to bid a fond fairwell to Tim and get free Mexican food. They had new lunch special menu's printed out and instead of having the same lunch specials everyday, they change. So I was all set to order some nice Tuesday special when my boss goes "Let's see what they have for Wednesday's" and I had a mini "duh" moment that I quashed with some chips and salsa. Along with the development's running up to my car in the rain this morning to give me breakfast, it was a pretty nice free food day. We were going to have free cake too but that got pushed to tomorrow, even though I rushed back from flawlessly setting up an LED sign to get a piece. The only thing that would top off my free food day better would be if someone showed up at my door with free dinner. Or head. That would be pretty good too.
I decided this afternoon that Jeb really needs to start video blogging and tape a new song each week that he makes up and performs to the internet populous. I may have to run this by him this weekend and maybe even bring my camera to facilitate the epic internet stardom that would be sure to follow.
As I mentioned before, my dad visited last weekend. And between discussions about baseball we had one about movie remakes or rebooting of franchises, which we both agreed was really lazy on a filmmaking standpoint. Sure the new Batman movies and Bond movies were good, but at least with James Bond movies, why not call it a sequal. Theres like 25 of them, and coming up with the plotline to a new Bond movie is about as easy as spelling words with alphabet soup. We did agree however that there are some movies that have always been considered classics but would be ten times better today with a remake. Some of these included Alfred Hitchcock movies (especially the Birds, which looking back is a hokey movie, but if it was redone, it would be scary as all hell) and Jaws. But overall I really think the whole Hollywood "reboot the franchise" thing is dumb as hell. I heard the other week that they were thinking about rebooting The Fantastic Four. Sure the movies were really stupid (I still haven't seen the second one, because the previews made me want to hit Stan Lee with a newspaper), but they came out like two years ago. And redoing them as dark as Batman wont make them somehow cooler, just make my eyes burn when I exit the theater. Come up with something new please.
Ok I'm spent, gotta think of a way to get free dinner.
Saturday, March 21, 2009
Greenville FORCE
So this weekend my dad came to visit from Pennsylvania and so I was looking for things to do when he was here instead of just sitting around or going to bars (my parents don't drink). So I heard that Greenville was getting an arena football team at the Bilo Center and this weekend was going to be their first game. I asked him if he'd be interested and he said he was so we went.
We got there a little early, thinking that it could be packed from the advertising that I had heard. People were waiting but we soon found that plenty of seats were still available and we were given seats five rows from the field (for half price, a special they were running, that should have tipped us off). So we get inside and the game is supposed to start at 7. The Bilo center has been tricked out with a mini football field (only 50 yards) with the goal posts replaced with a hanging PVC apparatus. The field is essentially just a cement floor covered with some outdoor carpet surrounded by the bottoms of the old hockey boards covered with padding. Having little faith or low preparation beforehand, the field proclaims the Austin Wranglers instead of the South Carolina Force, as it should. In addition, the ends of the field are still uncovered cement. We sit there and 7 rolls around and the teams continue practicing on the field and the announcer comes on saying that the game would be delayed at least a half hour for "technical difficulties". They suddenly realize that they only half assed the field and start putting down the one missing end, sticking some outdoor carpet down with double sided tape. 8pm rolls around and they have barely finished the one side but start doing the vast team introductions and reading of pre-written sponsor selling points. That's right, they read sales pitches for all of their sponsors, after delaying the game for over an hour. At the same time they seem to have misplaced the outdoor carpeting from the one side and are just laying down some foam padding. The announcer has already referred to the Force as the Drive (Greenville's baseball team) several times. They lose the music for the National Anthem and the girl has to uncomfortably sing it without, which was a mix of different speeds and pitches. But finally at about 8:30 the 7pm game gets started.
We soon realize that the football is laughably bad. The referees call far too many penalties (especially unsportsmanlike contact, which happens at least ten times in the half). The players seem to have never practiced and its a little more than a sandlot game of football with sponsors. There's also unusual rules where extra points are added for kickoffs going through the uprights, and penalty points given to the other team for kickoffs that went out of the end zone (even though this only happened at certain times and not others). The loudest cheers happened when a poor pass by the Greenville quarterback flew into the stands and an 8 year old kid made a perfect catch to the roar of the crowd. Thankfully we made it to the half.
During halftime several hilariously poorly planned events occurred: the dancers' music was lost and they stood in the center of the field waiting for it to turn on before just running off the field, the cancer survivor's little daughter ran around the group of people on the field as her mother talked, like a little blond haired satellite. Then they sent the teams back out with five minutes left on the clock and they basically just waited around lost on the field until it ran out.
The third quarter was more of the same and by the end we had both had enough and exited the half filled arena.
It was so comically bad that I wasn't even sure if I didn't want to come see another one or not. In one way it was so terribly planned and played but almost to a hilariously entertaining way. I have never laughed so much at a sporting event. I get the feeling that with a group of friends and a couple beers it would be as good as an unintentional Harlem Globetrotters-esque spectacle.
We got there a little early, thinking that it could be packed from the advertising that I had heard. People were waiting but we soon found that plenty of seats were still available and we were given seats five rows from the field (for half price, a special they were running, that should have tipped us off). So we get inside and the game is supposed to start at 7. The Bilo center has been tricked out with a mini football field (only 50 yards) with the goal posts replaced with a hanging PVC apparatus. The field is essentially just a cement floor covered with some outdoor carpet surrounded by the bottoms of the old hockey boards covered with padding. Having little faith or low preparation beforehand, the field proclaims the Austin Wranglers instead of the South Carolina Force, as it should. In addition, the ends of the field are still uncovered cement. We sit there and 7 rolls around and the teams continue practicing on the field and the announcer comes on saying that the game would be delayed at least a half hour for "technical difficulties". They suddenly realize that they only half assed the field and start putting down the one missing end, sticking some outdoor carpet down with double sided tape. 8pm rolls around and they have barely finished the one side but start doing the vast team introductions and reading of pre-written sponsor selling points. That's right, they read sales pitches for all of their sponsors, after delaying the game for over an hour. At the same time they seem to have misplaced the outdoor carpeting from the one side and are just laying down some foam padding. The announcer has already referred to the Force as the Drive (Greenville's baseball team) several times. They lose the music for the National Anthem and the girl has to uncomfortably sing it without, which was a mix of different speeds and pitches. But finally at about 8:30 the 7pm game gets started.
We soon realize that the football is laughably bad. The referees call far too many penalties (especially unsportsmanlike contact, which happens at least ten times in the half). The players seem to have never practiced and its a little more than a sandlot game of football with sponsors. There's also unusual rules where extra points are added for kickoffs going through the uprights, and penalty points given to the other team for kickoffs that went out of the end zone (even though this only happened at certain times and not others). The loudest cheers happened when a poor pass by the Greenville quarterback flew into the stands and an 8 year old kid made a perfect catch to the roar of the crowd. Thankfully we made it to the half.
During halftime several hilariously poorly planned events occurred: the dancers' music was lost and they stood in the center of the field waiting for it to turn on before just running off the field, the cancer survivor's little daughter ran around the group of people on the field as her mother talked, like a little blond haired satellite. Then they sent the teams back out with five minutes left on the clock and they basically just waited around lost on the field until it ran out.
The third quarter was more of the same and by the end we had both had enough and exited the half filled arena.
It was so comically bad that I wasn't even sure if I didn't want to come see another one or not. In one way it was so terribly planned and played but almost to a hilariously entertaining way. I have never laughed so much at a sporting event. I get the feeling that with a group of friends and a couple beers it would be as good as an unintentional Harlem Globetrotters-esque spectacle.
Saturday, February 14, 2009
Valentine's Day Sweetheart
I have already written this blog once, got the whole way through and Opera first wouldn't let you use the spell check feature and then deleted what I wrote before I could copy and save it. Bye bye Opera. Here we go again.
Despite being America's Sweetheart and the lovable peach of a guy that I am, I find myself single again on Valentine's Day. I know its just another day, trumped up by candy and flower companies to be a romantic holiday, it still sorta wears on a guy. Although really its nothing new, I have never been in a relationship on the day. So what's a single guy to do to pass the time on such a romantic day?
Huge Pizza, Horror Movie, Long Nap.
I spent most of the day watching movies (I know, nothing new). I started my day with the romantic classic Saw V. I felt it lived up to its Saw brethren, with lots of gross-out "incredible machine-esque" bloody deaths. There were a few parts that I thought were sort of illogical, such as why they people didn't use the dead body for blood instead of putting their own arms in the machine full of saws, or at least trying to break the glass on the top first. I am still amazed that the original Jigsaw killer is still a large part of the movie, despite having died two movies ago. Perhaps they should move forward in the next movie and start working away from that character and focus more on the new killer. He definitely has a creepy enough look to carry the franchise. I definitely thought though that the girl from Dexter would end up being in on the act, since they had made her up to look like the old assistant and her seeming knowledge of how everything worked in the challenge. Who knows, despite laying in a puddle of blood, her arm is never shown, so she could have faked it and let the other guy take the full blunt of it. He looked pretty not alive by the end. So I guess if you're looking for the gross-out psychological horror movie that the other Saw movies are known for, you wont be disappointed with this one.
I followed it up with a surprising, under-hyped amazing movie. The Lucky Ones follows a group of American soldiers, home for a 30 day medical leave after taking various injuries in Iraq and being thrown together in an impromptu cross country road trip. While Tim Robbins and Michael Pena do a great job in their roles, Rachel McAdams is brilliant as a private returning a guitar to the family of soldier who saved her life. She has such an endearing, filter-free but super sweet quality to her that you can definitely relate to. Her humorous little comments really carry the movie. I know its too late for Oscar consideration, but she definitely should have been included in the supporting actress race. If you get the chance to see this movie, I highly recommend picking it up, you wont be disappointed.
So while you may have thought that I was going to throw a nice "whoa is me" blog up for you, I switched it around with the help of two very different movies. That and eating half a pizza and passing out on my couch for a long nap, allowing me to write this blog twice after 2am. Perhaps something romantic next year, but I wont hold my breathe.
Despite being America's Sweetheart and the lovable peach of a guy that I am, I find myself single again on Valentine's Day. I know its just another day, trumped up by candy and flower companies to be a romantic holiday, it still sorta wears on a guy. Although really its nothing new, I have never been in a relationship on the day. So what's a single guy to do to pass the time on such a romantic day?
Huge Pizza, Horror Movie, Long Nap.
I spent most of the day watching movies (I know, nothing new). I started my day with the romantic classic Saw V. I felt it lived up to its Saw brethren, with lots of gross-out "incredible machine-esque" bloody deaths. There were a few parts that I thought were sort of illogical, such as why they people didn't use the dead body for blood instead of putting their own arms in the machine full of saws, or at least trying to break the glass on the top first. I am still amazed that the original Jigsaw killer is still a large part of the movie, despite having died two movies ago. Perhaps they should move forward in the next movie and start working away from that character and focus more on the new killer. He definitely has a creepy enough look to carry the franchise. I definitely thought though that the girl from Dexter would end up being in on the act, since they had made her up to look like the old assistant and her seeming knowledge of how everything worked in the challenge. Who knows, despite laying in a puddle of blood, her arm is never shown, so she could have faked it and let the other guy take the full blunt of it. He looked pretty not alive by the end. So I guess if you're looking for the gross-out psychological horror movie that the other Saw movies are known for, you wont be disappointed with this one.
I followed it up with a surprising, under-hyped amazing movie. The Lucky Ones follows a group of American soldiers, home for a 30 day medical leave after taking various injuries in Iraq and being thrown together in an impromptu cross country road trip. While Tim Robbins and Michael Pena do a great job in their roles, Rachel McAdams is brilliant as a private returning a guitar to the family of soldier who saved her life. She has such an endearing, filter-free but super sweet quality to her that you can definitely relate to. Her humorous little comments really carry the movie. I know its too late for Oscar consideration, but she definitely should have been included in the supporting actress race. If you get the chance to see this movie, I highly recommend picking it up, you wont be disappointed.
So while you may have thought that I was going to throw a nice "whoa is me" blog up for you, I switched it around with the help of two very different movies. That and eating half a pizza and passing out on my couch for a long nap, allowing me to write this blog twice after 2am. Perhaps something romantic next year, but I wont hold my breathe.
Monday, February 9, 2009
While Barrack Goes On and On....
I will write for yall. Watching him speak, I find that he doesn't really know the meaning of the words "unanimous" or "bipartisan". I'm sorta wondering why he's so insistent in instructing the American people on why the bail out plan is the way to go. It's not like any of us can do anything to stop him, even if we cared to.
But anyway my weekend was pretty darn fun. After last weekend in Clemson, I had no intention to go anywhere else but back to Clemson this weekend. I always have a blast there. So I rolled into Clemson around 7 and even though I did so because I thought that Jeb or BMS would beat me home, I still beat them to their own house. Definite downsides with having crazy jobs teamed with an hour commute (hopefully not for much longer, crossing fingers and such). So I let the dogs out, taking a moment to relish the 60 degree February night overlooking the lake. Moments like that are why I believe that South Carolina is paradise. Of course my moment of reflection was short lived when Trimmy didn't want anything to do with standing around on the porch. I eventually let both dogs back inside where they attacked me while I tried to read a magazine, until Jeb and BMS finally showed up.
The reason Jeb was so late was that he had a little problem with his tire that morning and BMS had to take him to, and pick him up from work. To say that his tire was flat would be the understatement of the year. I have never seen a tire that flat. It looked like he had found out that he had a flat, went out and did high speed donuts on it and then raced it back to the garage on the rim. It was dead as a doornail. He planned to change it out Saturday (and Sunday, but I doubt it happened then either). So by the time they got there, I was starving. But unlike normally, they had a plan on where to go and we went to TD's where far too much fried food was consumed. I have to say though, that they make the best grilled cheese I have ever had in my life. Absolutely amazing.
So after dinner, BMS's abundance of energy had left her quicker than the air in Jeb's tire, and she bid us adieu and we hopped next door to our home away from home, Griffin's. Tony, the owner of Griffin's is a really cool guy and he loves when Jeb and I show up. I don't know if its the abundance of money that we throw down, or just the sheer awesome-ness that we possess, but every time we go there its a great feeling, and I feel kinda like a VIP. We have our usual seats at the end of the bar. The hot bartender ladies love us. Its just a blast the whole time we're there.
Unfortunately Jeb's ex-wife showed up as well and decided to strike up a conversation with Jeb before joining her group of friends. This seemed to really bother Jeb all night, but we still did our best to get by it and have fun. For once Jeb asked to leave before I did and so at about 1 in the morning, we started walking home. We had gotten about half way down the street and I was walking down a little dirt slope when POW down I went. It happened so fast that I was lying on the ground before I knew it. Jeb started laughing as I scrambled back up and I eventually joined him in chuckling as we continued back down the road. It was a hilarious finish to a great evening.
But anyway my weekend was pretty darn fun. After last weekend in Clemson, I had no intention to go anywhere else but back to Clemson this weekend. I always have a blast there. So I rolled into Clemson around 7 and even though I did so because I thought that Jeb or BMS would beat me home, I still beat them to their own house. Definite downsides with having crazy jobs teamed with an hour commute (hopefully not for much longer, crossing fingers and such). So I let the dogs out, taking a moment to relish the 60 degree February night overlooking the lake. Moments like that are why I believe that South Carolina is paradise. Of course my moment of reflection was short lived when Trimmy didn't want anything to do with standing around on the porch. I eventually let both dogs back inside where they attacked me while I tried to read a magazine, until Jeb and BMS finally showed up.
The reason Jeb was so late was that he had a little problem with his tire that morning and BMS had to take him to, and pick him up from work. To say that his tire was flat would be the understatement of the year. I have never seen a tire that flat. It looked like he had found out that he had a flat, went out and did high speed donuts on it and then raced it back to the garage on the rim. It was dead as a doornail. He planned to change it out Saturday (and Sunday, but I doubt it happened then either). So by the time they got there, I was starving. But unlike normally, they had a plan on where to go and we went to TD's where far too much fried food was consumed. I have to say though, that they make the best grilled cheese I have ever had in my life. Absolutely amazing.
So after dinner, BMS's abundance of energy had left her quicker than the air in Jeb's tire, and she bid us adieu and we hopped next door to our home away from home, Griffin's. Tony, the owner of Griffin's is a really cool guy and he loves when Jeb and I show up. I don't know if its the abundance of money that we throw down, or just the sheer awesome-ness that we possess, but every time we go there its a great feeling, and I feel kinda like a VIP. We have our usual seats at the end of the bar. The hot bartender ladies love us. Its just a blast the whole time we're there.
Unfortunately Jeb's ex-wife showed up as well and decided to strike up a conversation with Jeb before joining her group of friends. This seemed to really bother Jeb all night, but we still did our best to get by it and have fun. For once Jeb asked to leave before I did and so at about 1 in the morning, we started walking home. We had gotten about half way down the street and I was walking down a little dirt slope when POW down I went. It happened so fast that I was lying on the ground before I knew it. Jeb started laughing as I scrambled back up and I eventually joined him in chuckling as we continued back down the road. It was a hilarious finish to a great evening.
Monday, February 2, 2009
Monday Monday
So I noticed that I now have 100 posts with that philosophical one from last time. Wish I would have known and I would have made it something good, but so is life.
What a game last night in the Super Bowl. I was down at Jeb's, watching the game on his big ass TV and it was exactly how the Super Bowl should be watched. I found myself cheering for both teams as they went down the stretch, but I'm definitely happy that the Steelers pulled it out. As a Pennsylvania native, I'm sorta attached to that team to do well. Either that or Philly, but Donavan McNabb is a douche bag so there ya go.
So anyway I got this little questionnaire on Facebook today from two of my friends and while I really don't want to support that foolishness on Facebook I thought I would answer the questions on the blog, so that people that would be subject to them are making a conscious decision to read about me, without being bombarded with "25 QUESTIONS OMG BBQ LOL WELCOME TO THE INTERNETS". So here we go:
1. Were you named after anyone? I was born in the 80's and I believe that my parents have said that in the 80's Michael was very popular pop-culturally with Michael Jackson (before he went all crazy and child molestery) so I think that had something to do with it, but otherwise I think they were happy not to give me the family middle name, Eugene.
2. When was the last time you cried? I almost cried at the end of several movies lately, but I held it together. Before that I was having a really bad allergic reaction to a date's cats when we went back to her place. That was sorta embarrassing.
3. Do you like your handwriting? I print very neatly, but only use the cursive handwriting to sign my name. I think my signature is pretty good, very doctory, somewhat looks like my dad's.
4. What is your favorite lunch meat? Turkey
5. Do you have kids? Nope, probably not anytime soon. I'm still too much of a kid myself.
6. If you were another person, would you be friends with you? I'd like to think I would be, I think I have a good sense of humor and I'm a good loyal friend, but at the same time I don't know which other person I would be, maybe that other person would have dissimilar interests. But I'd like to think that the people that surround me as friends are a lot like me, so I guess I subconsciously do enjoy my company.
7. Do you use sarcasm? Who me? Never.
8. Do you still have your tonsils? Probably, I haven't enquired about their status lately.
9. Would you bungee jump? In a heartbeat, I definitely want to try it someday, I have 75 skydives but I think that bungee jumping would be terrifying. Its so low.
10. What is your favorite cereal? Cocoa Pebbles. Although I currently have three healthy cereals that I haven't touched in months.
11. Do you untie your shoes when you take them off? No, my shoes are usually pretty loose on my feet, I slip in and out of them sitting at my desk at work.
What happened to 12, I blame Coffey for skipping another number.
13. What is your favorite ice cream? Mint Chocolate Chip or Peanut Butter Cup, although the lactose intolerance has really cut down on my ice cream intake.
14. What is the first thing you notice about people? Their personalities. Either that or their boobs.
15. Red or pink? Red.
16. What is your least favorite thing about yourself? I have really bad skin. I've done everything I can to make it better but it never works. I guess I'm cursed.
17. Who do you miss the most? Mikkel Green, I wish he lived out here in the western part of the state, driving 8 hours in a weekend is really not an attractive proposition. But I miss having Mikkel around.
18. Do you want everyone to complete this list? No, like I said before, its really annoying on Facebook.
19. What color pants and shoes are you wearing? Blue jeans, no shoes, white socks. I was wearing brown shoes but I'm home now so there's no need for shoes.
Another missed number.....
21. What are you listening to right now? Its actually really quiet in my apartment right now, too quiet........AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
22. If you were a crayon, what color would you be? This reminds me of "If you were a hot dog would you eat yourself?" or "If the moon was made of spare ribs, would you eat it?", but I think I would be black (just like your mother Jeb :) ) because unlike Coffey's answer, I would like to helpful to a lot of people, until they use me up.
23. Favorite scents? Sheets fresh out of the dryer, jambalaya, that smell that women have that is a mix between flowers and fruit.
24. Who was the last person you talked to on the phone? Ish on the phone. DP on the text messages.
25. Do you like the person who sent this to you? Oh yeah, they're both awesome, wish they both lived closer, and were kid free.
26. Favorite sports to watch? Hockey (in person, it loses a lot on TV). Baseball close second.
27. Hair color? Brown.
28. Eye color? Hazel.
29. Do you wear contacts? No, I tried growing up but could never get them in. Then a couple years ago I had lasik, so I hope that I wont have to worry about that stuff again.
30. Favorite food? My mom's beef stroganoff, or steak.
31. Scary movies or happy endings? Depends on my mood, I watch a bunch of both.
32. Last movie you watched? I saw Step Brothers and Burn After Reading last weekend. Both of which were the type of movie that once they were done, you scratch your head and wonder what to say about it and don't know if they were good or bad.
33. What color shirt are you wearing? Blue. Completing the mental picture of me. Unless there's an underwear/ body type question later.
34. Summer or winter? Summer, I left Pennsylvania to get away from the cold, its paradise for three seasons down here but then there's that pesky cold snap.
35. Hugs or kisses? I'm pretty down with both.
Another missed number....COFFEY!!!
37. Most likely to respond? Well my blog is kinda my show, but Jeb and D.P. might comment, they do the most.
38. Least likely to respond? I don't really know who all frequents my blog, so probably one of my secret fans.
39. What book are you reading now? Quantum of Solace, The Ultimate Hitchhiker's Guide, Lord of the Flies. I have a bad habit of starting one before I finish another.
40. What is on your mouse pad? I don't have one, don't really need one with a laser mouse unless you have a clear desk.
41. What did you watch on TV last night? The Super Bowl, it was pretty late by the time I got home after that.
42. Favorite sound? Women's laughter. There's just something therapeutic about it.
43. Rolling Stones or Beatles? Stones over Beatles, but I'd listen to both.
44. What is the farthest you have been from home? Cancun.
45. Do you have a special talent? I'm a world class lover.
46. Where were you born? York, Pennsylvania
47. Whose answers are you looking forward to getting back? I don't think I'm going to get anyone filling this out in my comment box, but I guess I look forward to Jeb's comments.
48. Where did you meet your significant other? N/A. Last one was at a party.
Fun Times kids, time to make dinner. Catch ya'll later.
What a game last night in the Super Bowl. I was down at Jeb's, watching the game on his big ass TV and it was exactly how the Super Bowl should be watched. I found myself cheering for both teams as they went down the stretch, but I'm definitely happy that the Steelers pulled it out. As a Pennsylvania native, I'm sorta attached to that team to do well. Either that or Philly, but Donavan McNabb is a douche bag so there ya go.
So anyway I got this little questionnaire on Facebook today from two of my friends and while I really don't want to support that foolishness on Facebook I thought I would answer the questions on the blog, so that people that would be subject to them are making a conscious decision to read about me, without being bombarded with "25 QUESTIONS OMG BBQ LOL WELCOME TO THE INTERNETS". So here we go:
1. Were you named after anyone? I was born in the 80's and I believe that my parents have said that in the 80's Michael was very popular pop-culturally with Michael Jackson (before he went all crazy and child molestery) so I think that had something to do with it, but otherwise I think they were happy not to give me the family middle name, Eugene.
2. When was the last time you cried? I almost cried at the end of several movies lately, but I held it together. Before that I was having a really bad allergic reaction to a date's cats when we went back to her place. That was sorta embarrassing.
3. Do you like your handwriting? I print very neatly, but only use the cursive handwriting to sign my name. I think my signature is pretty good, very doctory, somewhat looks like my dad's.
4. What is your favorite lunch meat? Turkey
5. Do you have kids? Nope, probably not anytime soon. I'm still too much of a kid myself.
6. If you were another person, would you be friends with you? I'd like to think I would be, I think I have a good sense of humor and I'm a good loyal friend, but at the same time I don't know which other person I would be, maybe that other person would have dissimilar interests. But I'd like to think that the people that surround me as friends are a lot like me, so I guess I subconsciously do enjoy my company.
7. Do you use sarcasm? Who me? Never.
8. Do you still have your tonsils? Probably, I haven't enquired about their status lately.
9. Would you bungee jump? In a heartbeat, I definitely want to try it someday, I have 75 skydives but I think that bungee jumping would be terrifying. Its so low.
10. What is your favorite cereal? Cocoa Pebbles. Although I currently have three healthy cereals that I haven't touched in months.
11. Do you untie your shoes when you take them off? No, my shoes are usually pretty loose on my feet, I slip in and out of them sitting at my desk at work.
What happened to 12, I blame Coffey for skipping another number.
13. What is your favorite ice cream? Mint Chocolate Chip or Peanut Butter Cup, although the lactose intolerance has really cut down on my ice cream intake.
14. What is the first thing you notice about people? Their personalities. Either that or their boobs.
15. Red or pink? Red.
16. What is your least favorite thing about yourself? I have really bad skin. I've done everything I can to make it better but it never works. I guess I'm cursed.
17. Who do you miss the most? Mikkel Green, I wish he lived out here in the western part of the state, driving 8 hours in a weekend is really not an attractive proposition. But I miss having Mikkel around.
18. Do you want everyone to complete this list? No, like I said before, its really annoying on Facebook.
19. What color pants and shoes are you wearing? Blue jeans, no shoes, white socks. I was wearing brown shoes but I'm home now so there's no need for shoes.
Another missed number.....
21. What are you listening to right now? Its actually really quiet in my apartment right now, too quiet........AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
22. If you were a crayon, what color would you be? This reminds me of "If you were a hot dog would you eat yourself?" or "If the moon was made of spare ribs, would you eat it?", but I think I would be black (just like your mother Jeb :) ) because unlike Coffey's answer, I would like to helpful to a lot of people, until they use me up.
23. Favorite scents? Sheets fresh out of the dryer, jambalaya, that smell that women have that is a mix between flowers and fruit.
24. Who was the last person you talked to on the phone? Ish on the phone. DP on the text messages.
25. Do you like the person who sent this to you? Oh yeah, they're both awesome, wish they both lived closer, and were kid free.
26. Favorite sports to watch? Hockey (in person, it loses a lot on TV). Baseball close second.
27. Hair color? Brown.
28. Eye color? Hazel.
29. Do you wear contacts? No, I tried growing up but could never get them in. Then a couple years ago I had lasik, so I hope that I wont have to worry about that stuff again.
30. Favorite food? My mom's beef stroganoff, or steak.
31. Scary movies or happy endings? Depends on my mood, I watch a bunch of both.
32. Last movie you watched? I saw Step Brothers and Burn After Reading last weekend. Both of which were the type of movie that once they were done, you scratch your head and wonder what to say about it and don't know if they were good or bad.
33. What color shirt are you wearing? Blue. Completing the mental picture of me. Unless there's an underwear/ body type question later.
34. Summer or winter? Summer, I left Pennsylvania to get away from the cold, its paradise for three seasons down here but then there's that pesky cold snap.
35. Hugs or kisses? I'm pretty down with both.
Another missed number....COFFEY!!!
37. Most likely to respond? Well my blog is kinda my show, but Jeb and D.P. might comment, they do the most.
38. Least likely to respond? I don't really know who all frequents my blog, so probably one of my secret fans.
39. What book are you reading now? Quantum of Solace, The Ultimate Hitchhiker's Guide, Lord of the Flies. I have a bad habit of starting one before I finish another.
40. What is on your mouse pad? I don't have one, don't really need one with a laser mouse unless you have a clear desk.
41. What did you watch on TV last night? The Super Bowl, it was pretty late by the time I got home after that.
42. Favorite sound? Women's laughter. There's just something therapeutic about it.
43. Rolling Stones or Beatles? Stones over Beatles, but I'd listen to both.
44. What is the farthest you have been from home? Cancun.
45. Do you have a special talent? I'm a world class lover.
46. Where were you born? York, Pennsylvania
47. Whose answers are you looking forward to getting back? I don't think I'm going to get anyone filling this out in my comment box, but I guess I look forward to Jeb's comments.
48. Where did you meet your significant other? N/A. Last one was at a party.
Fun Times kids, time to make dinner. Catch ya'll later.
Wednesday, January 28, 2009
Wondering...
I was thinking today, are the people that I think are stupid actually the smart ones and I'm the dumb one? It's sorta a distressing thing to think about.
I hope I'm just right.
I hope I'm just right.
Monday, January 26, 2009
You Know You Play Too Much Farcry 2...
1. You develop a natural fear of Jeep Liberties- When you play for hours and every time you see one of these death wagons roll up and some douche bag with an AK tries to run you over and then hops out and tries to punch holes in your nice soft skin, suddenly the soccer mom following you on the highway seems like America's most wanted.
2. You start looking for helpful flashing objects in every room- So what if someone hasn't hidden briefcases of uncut diamonds in my bathroom, there's gotta be something in here that I can use.
3. You carry around a ratchet set in your car- Just in case the engine starts smoking and you need to tighten that handy bolt on the radiator that fixes everything from bullet holes to smacking into a rock wall.
4. You attach important papers to cardboard- Heck that map in the game suddenly becomes water proof, bullet proof, fire proof, doesn't stain, tear or become misplaced. It also somehow folds up into a tiny pocket sized carry on. Hell my keys are going to be attached to cardboard.
5. You wonder about the everyday businesses around you- Which are ammo strongholds? Which are harboring arms dealers? Which have huge gas tanks just waiting to blow with an arrant sniper shot? Danger is everywhere.
2. You start looking for helpful flashing objects in every room- So what if someone hasn't hidden briefcases of uncut diamonds in my bathroom, there's gotta be something in here that I can use.
3. You carry around a ratchet set in your car- Just in case the engine starts smoking and you need to tighten that handy bolt on the radiator that fixes everything from bullet holes to smacking into a rock wall.
4. You attach important papers to cardboard- Heck that map in the game suddenly becomes water proof, bullet proof, fire proof, doesn't stain, tear or become misplaced. It also somehow folds up into a tiny pocket sized carry on. Hell my keys are going to be attached to cardboard.
5. You wonder about the everyday businesses around you- Which are ammo strongholds? Which are harboring arms dealers? Which have huge gas tanks just waiting to blow with an arrant sniper shot? Danger is everywhere.
Friday, January 23, 2009
Mieneke
I found out today that Mieneke (sp?) is the place to go. I'm really terrible about getting my oil changed when I should but today I was like, "Hell why not, get some better gas millage and stuff" (my car is already a frickin beast, it gets like high twenties MPG and I can still blow by shitty hybrids like they're standing still). Now I went to Jiffy Lube before, after telling my coworkers that it had been like 20,000 miles since I got my oil changed and they looked at me like my car should be on fire in the parking lot, and Jiffy Lube has like a million little guys running around and fixing shit and it seems really professional. But they bring you out into the shop and have you look at this computer that says that they reccomend you get all this shit fixed and that they can cut you a deal for like $900 bucks for all this crap that I know my three year old car doesn't need.
So I walk into Mieneke today and they're like "We'll look at 45 different things, change your filters, rotate your tires, and give it a happy ending for $20 and a Bojangles bisquit." They have George "Grillmaster" Forman smiling at me from the counter and I'm like "hell yeah, hell go all supreme on its ass." So I'm reading a couple magazines, finding out that Sports Illustrated really hangs on Peyton Manning's penis and the guy is like "For six bucks a tire, we'll balance those biznatches for you," So I figure that they're already basically jacking off my car in the back for like nothing, why not. So they keep doing their thing and it goes on for a while and the guy comes back to me again. He starts telling me what a good girl my car was and all the systems were all pristine and crap and ends with a little "Your transmission fluid is breaking down a little bit, but thats like the only thing" So I ask how much that would be and start trying to look around like rainman for their big board of prices. He says something like $100, and I was thinking in my head that if it was like $40 I might go all out today and spoil her. But I said no and he didnt give me the "you're gonna die" sigh that they do and I finished reading my magazine and paid my tiny bill and the car runs like a dream.
Way to go Mieneke.
Thursday, January 22, 2009
Damn You Mongolians!!!
I made Mongolian beef tonight for dinner. They may knock down the "shitty" wall, but the beef is frickin delicious. And of course because its me, I had to add hot sauce to it. But peach hot sauce to match the sweetness of the dish. I know I know, stop watching Food Network and go out and get laid. Well to all the single ladies out there, just know that you too can be sharing Mongolian Beef (which I actually made with ground chicken, so its not really beef I guess) with America's Sweetheart.
I feel since this week was the presidential inauguration that I should probably say something on my thoughts. While I was burnt out on Obama-itis in the days and hours of build up to the big event and I felt that they went slightly overboard. Sure first black president and everything, but to spend hundreds of thousands of dollars on an inauguration in the midst of an economic crisis seems sort of silly. But I do have to say that his speech was very very moving and I almost welled up with American pride at several moments. While I think President Obama will prove to be just another Democrat, he's definitely a strong speaker and its nice to give America a powerful voice in the world.
As far as his cabinet selections, it will never happen but it would be hilarious if they don't approve Hillary. I think her head could explode on national TV. To lose the primaries, get appointed to a cabinet post and then be rejected by the other democrats, it would be priceless. The one that really bothers me however is that the selection for Treasury Secretary has, get this, been skipping out on his taxes. He had $38,000 in owed taxes, that hes apparently taken care of since he was named as the pick for secretary. But in his words, he was "confused" about the tax rules. The guy that will be the head of the entire country's money situation, can't figure out his own tax stuff. Oh yeah I'm optimistic about this one.
It's been a semi-long week and I'm definitely looking forward to a weekend in COLUMBIA, which should be pretty interesting. So blog fans, keep posted, and Cola people, get ready for some fun.
I feel since this week was the presidential inauguration that I should probably say something on my thoughts. While I was burnt out on Obama-itis in the days and hours of build up to the big event and I felt that they went slightly overboard. Sure first black president and everything, but to spend hundreds of thousands of dollars on an inauguration in the midst of an economic crisis seems sort of silly. But I do have to say that his speech was very very moving and I almost welled up with American pride at several moments. While I think President Obama will prove to be just another Democrat, he's definitely a strong speaker and its nice to give America a powerful voice in the world.
As far as his cabinet selections, it will never happen but it would be hilarious if they don't approve Hillary. I think her head could explode on national TV. To lose the primaries, get appointed to a cabinet post and then be rejected by the other democrats, it would be priceless. The one that really bothers me however is that the selection for Treasury Secretary has, get this, been skipping out on his taxes. He had $38,000 in owed taxes, that hes apparently taken care of since he was named as the pick for secretary. But in his words, he was "confused" about the tax rules. The guy that will be the head of the entire country's money situation, can't figure out his own tax stuff. Oh yeah I'm optimistic about this one.
It's been a semi-long week and I'm definitely looking forward to a weekend in COLUMBIA, which should be pretty interesting. So blog fans, keep posted, and Cola people, get ready for some fun.
Wednesday, January 21, 2009
Tucker Max
Today I got a request from TK "Dr. Thunder" Davis to write a blog about Tucker Max, saying that my blog reminded him of tuckermax.com only I'm less mean,
I read a lot of Tucker Max's site a couple years ago and really thought it was hilarious. Especially the story where he got the breathalyzer and talked about his blood alcohol level in relation to the ungodly things that happened to him (which I believe ended with him with no pants outside a sushi restaurant). But then all of a sudden he got famous, wrote a book and seemed to stop writing about anything except for how awesome everyone else thought he was.
While I can sorta see how my blog is at times a lot like this stories. I think its a little more humble than him and pull in much fewer women. I don't feel very comfortable talking about my sexual escapades in my blog (even though a lot of the time they are pretty darn funny, I'm not sure if that's good or not), at least for now. Truth be told, most of the time I'm not getting wasted and chasing women. I watch a ton of movies (and may start doing more movie reviews) and TV, during the week. I don't like drinking alone or going into work hung over (teamed with also feeling sort of uncomfortable about writing about work, with the fear that someone from work might stumble across it), often my window for doing something hilarious is limited to two or three days a week. But I'll do my best to keep writing stuff y'all enjoy and hopefully someday enough people could read this that I could either be sponsored or get a book deal, which would be pretty sweet. Thanks to Dr. Thunder for his topic suggestion.
I read a lot of Tucker Max's site a couple years ago and really thought it was hilarious. Especially the story where he got the breathalyzer and talked about his blood alcohol level in relation to the ungodly things that happened to him (which I believe ended with him with no pants outside a sushi restaurant). But then all of a sudden he got famous, wrote a book and seemed to stop writing about anything except for how awesome everyone else thought he was.
While I can sorta see how my blog is at times a lot like this stories. I think its a little more humble than him and pull in much fewer women. I don't feel very comfortable talking about my sexual escapades in my blog (even though a lot of the time they are pretty darn funny, I'm not sure if that's good or not), at least for now. Truth be told, most of the time I'm not getting wasted and chasing women. I watch a ton of movies (and may start doing more movie reviews) and TV, during the week. I don't like drinking alone or going into work hung over (teamed with also feeling sort of uncomfortable about writing about work, with the fear that someone from work might stumble across it), often my window for doing something hilarious is limited to two or three days a week. But I'll do my best to keep writing stuff y'all enjoy and hopefully someday enough people could read this that I could either be sponsored or get a book deal, which would be pretty sweet. Thanks to Dr. Thunder for his topic suggestion.
Friday, January 16, 2009
Hello Again
I noticed recently that with the addition of Netflix to X-box live has created a paradox. You can go online and select movies in their "Play Now" section and add them to your Instant Queue and then go and watch them on the big screen using the 360. While this is very convenient, it also causes me to go through much fewer movies a month that they send me. Movies sit on my counter for a week before I pop them in. I used to get it and watch it and turn it around in a day or so and now I'm doing 8 movies a month through the mail. While I'm not sure this is a terrible thing, seeing how the online movies are just as good in quality, with only a slightly worse selection. Maybe I will drop it from two at a time to one at a time.
Another thing it causes me to do is discard bad movies very quickly. If I queue up an instant movie and in the first fifteen minutes it doesn't impress me, I cut it off immediately and move on to the next one. When my only choices were to watch the movies that I got in the mail, I would sit through some really awful movies because it was either that or watch reruns of NCIS. While its sorta nice to not have all my eggs in that little red basket, I also wonder if I cut the movie off too fast and missed the hidden gem that it will become. Then again the blond girl might just make bad decisions for the next hour and a half, to the point where I'm yelling at my TV for her to get some parental supervision.
Last weekend D.P. and L.C. came to visit. Its always a mind boggling experience being around those two. One second they are cuddling on the floor, everyone is peachy, we're playing some Scene It (or not so much playing as I'm kicking ass and they're trying to keep up), and the next: there's an accidental elbow to the balls that starts a shouting match, an angry controller throw, and about a half hour's worth of arguments and apologizing. Of course this is followed by a cutesy make up kiss, and then another argument about the amount of alcohol that is being consumed. It's like hot to cold and back again in zero seconds flat. Can't end up being a good thing.
Also last weekend we bid a fond farewell to Captain Pretentious and The Katie. They moved off to Sweden and left us poor country folks behind. While we all promised to come visit, and the idea of hot easy women (Swedish chicks are the most likely in the world to have a one night stand, over 65% have) and tasty meatballs is very appealing, I doubt I ever will. The simple fact is that I would much rather drop several hundred dollars and my year's vacation days on a nice Caribbean vacation then going over there and freezing my ass off. I'm pretty content over here sending C.P. obscene text messages at ungodly Swedish hours.
OK I think I'm going to go try to find a coffee table or some art to spice up my walls here. If y'all want to get more posts, you should really say "You should update your blog, write about...." and insert your own subjects. I could use the help after coming home brain fried from work.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)